Simply Me

MOVING TO WORDPRESS!!!

2009-01-07T13:21:00.000-08:00

i am officially moving to wordpress. check me out there! (http://simplyjy.wordpress.com)

i have started a new strand of post about Haiti. Stacy is headed there in a medical mission trip and as i study more about country i will document my findings.

the cross

2008-12-09T11:18:00.000-08:00

Stacy and i were talking this morning (it was more her talking and me listening)...

first, i have to note that nothing brings me more joy and excitement then when my wife is growing in Christ. she loves Jesus with all her heart and is always growing and pursuing Christ. she is simply amazing. with that i have to note that over the past few months i have seen something different...something good...something Christ. Praise God! i love and cherish her with all my heart

...in talking about some random things this morning, she mentioned that she has struggled in the past, as a believer in Christ, hearing the gospel message over and over again. she raised the struggling question, "is it necessary for us as believers to need to hear that message over and over again?" her point is, we know the message, do i need to re-hear it?

her next words were so profound. in her thought process, she mentioned some things that she has been reading and has been challenged with. she answered her own question by saying...absolutely i do. she has been reminded, and challenged me to remember, that the cross is the crux of our faith. the cross is where joy is found. the cross is what leads us to repentance. the cross is what makes me a new creation...the fulfillment of all things built in Old Testament history.

may we never loose sight of the cross.

The "holiday" season engulfs my 5 year old

2008-11-24T09:53:00.000-08:00

in our recent move to the northwest Stacy and i decided that we would not put our oldest son, who turned 5 on September 1st, in kindergarden. because of his late birthday (and a few other reasons...one not being because he wasn't ready...he's freak'n brilliant) we decided to hold him back and put him in a preschool again. he loves learning and interacting and it would almost be a slam to his 5 year old mind to not put him in a learning environment.

he has been in Christian preschools for the past 3 years but this year we put him in a school where one of his friends goes. they are not Christ centered. they are a great school and Austen's teachers love him dearly.

this holiday season hit's the reality for Stacy and i that he is not in a Christian preschool, and it's scary.

Stacy and i have purposely chosen (up to today's date) to place our kids in public school. it is a strong conviction of ours (for us) that the school will not be the sole educators of our kids. also the church will not be the sole educators of our kids. Stacy and i have been given the responsibility to raise our kids, to praise our kids, to teach our kids, to discipline our kids, and to grow them up in Christ.

we want them at and early age to understand what it means to be a light in a dark place.

THIS IS SCARY!

Austen's class is focusing this holiday season on Hanukkah. each class has a responsibility to teach a different viewpoint of holidays and because his teacher is Jewish, they are focusing on Hanukkah.

Another class is focusing on Kwansa and another on Christmas.

They will come together and present the different views of Christmas in his "holiday program" on December 13th.

here's the question:

how do you teach the plurality of God in our fallen world to a 5 year old?

i guess it begins and ends with Jesus.

his foundation is being built and we have to trust God (and Christ in our lives as his parents) that his heart is being protected.

i do trust God in where He has us, in where He has Austen, and i pray constantly that the one true God would rescue his heart.

God protect him. God preserve him. build him up for the day he surrenders his life to You. rescue his heart. give Stacy and I the perseverance, wisdom, and sense of urgency we need to be a home that glorifies Your name forever. i praise You for his life and let me treasure him for the time You have given him to me. i love You. i trust you. and Austen, you are everything to me. Amen.

Back off Tony Romo

2008-11-19T23:13:00.000-08:00

check out this article from the Dallas Morning News. what a swell guy!!

By TIM MacMAHON / The Dallas Morning News
tmacmahon@dallasnews.com

A homeless man who goes by Doc was cashing in change at a Cinemark theater in Dallas when a guy walked up and offered to pay his way into the movie. Doc, who planned to spend his day passing out flyers for a few bucks, accepted a rain check before realizing that he recognized the generous gentleman.

"Was that Tony Romo?" Doc asked the kid behind the counter.

It sure was. Doc hustled across the street to the consignment store that paid him to occasionally pass out flyers and requested the day off. By the time he got back to the theater, "Role Model" had already started.

Romo, who confirmed the story but didn't want to elaborate, waved Doc over to sit by him and his buddy. Doc sheepishly mentioned that he hadn't showered in a few days.

"Don't worry about that," Romo said. "I'm used to locker rooms."

And so the $67 million quarterback and a man who doesn't have $6.70 to his name sat next to each other and shared laughs for 90 minutes or so.

For Romo, who made news by changing a couple's tire on the side of the road on the way home the night of the season opener, it was just another kind gesture to a random stranger. It meant the world to Doc.

"For me, it was a blessing," Doc said. "It came at just the right time. It gave me some encouragement and faith in mankind. I just wanted to say thank you."

Theology pt. 5

2008-11-17T23:48:00.000-08:00

remember: i am not posting these blog's as fact but as discussion starters to help form and solidify my (and your) theology. i love hearing all points of view and having good healthy discussions (feelings aside). leave me comments. molding my theology is my life long process so let's get started.

this question was proposed to me tonight and i had to ask: "does God have free will?"

here's another, "can God sin?"

why or why not?!

prayers

2008-11-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

what are the types of prayers have you prayed most recently:

(don't over spiritualize...there is no alternative motive...just curious)

help me..
heal him...
protect me...
save him...
send me...
change me...
give me...
???

i am thinking through how prayer fits into my theology. i am curious all the prayers that are prayed.

theology pt. 4

2008-11-12T12:56:00.000-08:00

Can you change God’s mind?

I have heard the term fundamentalist Christian used frequently and I don’t quite grasp the term fully. I understand that a fundamentalist is someone who upholds the belief of the strict and literal interpretation of the Bible. Apposed to someone who believes the Bible to be figurative or allegorical I consider myself to be a fundamentalist. But in reading passages like Exodus 32 the literal can be that you can change God’s mind.

At points you have to look beyond literal and see principle. That is important Bible study methods.

Can you change God’s mind. No! God raises questions and situations to bring you into conversation with Him. God’s omnipotent power does not stop with us; meaning it’s wrong to think that if we don’t ask then God wont act. Our silence does not stop the power of God (this idea gives us more authority than God and ultimately makes us greater than God). It raises a good question to think, what if Moses would have agreed with God that Israel should be destroyed and that God should start over with him? Would God have destroyed his chosen nation?

By no means because of the covenant He made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Moses was confident in who God was/is. He knew what God’s promise was. His confidence superseded his insecurities. His response was not specifically on behalf of Israel but on the reputation of God (among Egypt and among the rest of the world).

God desires for us to have communion with Him. He desires to bring us into His glory. If we abstain from communion with Him then we are forfeiting the glory of God (Romans 1:23). God has choses those who are to be saved but brings us into His glory by using us; by praying for their salvation of the lost and having conversation with them. Peoples fates are not in our hands but God moves us into conversation with Him so that we may know His power. To think we have the power to change lives is to “exchange the glory of the immortal God” for worship of created things (us).

In this truth I still believe that we are held accountable for our “worship” of God. Worship meaning the offering our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. In worship we commune with God. In worship God directs us. In our abstinence of worship (specifically communion), we sin. Ultimately forfeiting the glory of God.

What do you think?

Genesis 18:16-21 - God engages Abraham into the a conversation with Him in His plan to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham enters the conversation and pleas for this city.

Exodus 32:7-10, 11-14 - The people of Israel under Aaron’s leadership made the golden calf in Moses’ absence. God told Moses about it on the Mountain and in his reveal He tells Moses that He is going to destroy this nation and raise up Moses and make a great nation of him. Moses pleas for God’s mercy and reminds Him of His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Then the LORD relented from the disaster he spoke of.

Numbers 14 - Israel cries out to the LORD after the report of the spies that the land to too great for overtake. Their hearts to do not believe the LORD and grumble about why He took them out of Egypt. God told Moses that He would destroy them and make him (Moses) a great nation. Moses pleas to God on behalf of Israel and God relents his wrath and says that this nation will not enter the Holy Land except for Caleb.

Christmas

2008-10-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

what did you get for Christmas last year? if you can remember, where are these "gifts" right now?

i am genuinely asking this question? i am not being a consumer hater but just following a thought process.

i was reading online today that we spend (as americans) on average $450 billions dollars a year for Christmas. There is an estimated 305 million people in the US today...counting everyone...even my one year old daughter. if that figure is correct then that's just over $1,475/person spent each year on Christmas...including my one year old daughter. point being is that we spend a lot of money for christmas.

as i am typing this blog post i just realized that i am using the computer that my wife surprised me with last year for Christmas. i am even wearing the pajama pants that she got for me too. consumerism isn't all bad, just out of control in my mind.

what were the menial gifts you received last year that you returned, lost, broke, or forgot about? i am not really meaning this to be rhetorical. i am genuinely curious.

check this out:

ditching the glasses

2008-10-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

today i joined the "contacts" club. THERE FREAK'N AWESOME. i've been wanting to ditch my glasses for a few years now and today i did. it's so strange not having the glasses on my face and still being able to see.

surprisingly...learning how to put them in and take them out wasn't that difficult.

Seahawks Fans SUCK

2008-10-12T14:19:00.000-07:00

i hate seahawks fans!!! they suck this year and they play this game over the Cowboys. these people need to know when to give up!!!!

got kids?

2008-10-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

how is it that three of my kids (all weighing less than 50 lbs each) can make me lose my salvation in the morning and become satan?

this morning i had an amazing time in the Word and amazing time praying. when my family got up this morning i felt i had an extra kick in my step. i felt like a kiddish school girl.

an hour later was a different story.

The best $90 I have ever spent

2008-10-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

tonight was the greatest night i have had since we have moved to Vancouver. it involved a date night, my first experience with sake, and ice scream renaissance.

nights like tonight remind me how much i love being with my wife.

New Church

2008-10-05T22:03:00.001-07:00

Stacy and i have found a new church that we like a lot. i hate "church shopping." we don't know everything about this place yet but the people are warm, the spend a lot of time serving outside the four walls of the church, and they love Jesus. all things that are very important to us.

if you have read my past blogs then you know that Stacy and i have a heart for the children and people of Haiti and guess what, this church does too. we could never understand why God would, over a year ago, place Haiti on our hearts. since we have wanted to visit so bad but never perceived the oportunity would be there outside of a Young family mission trip. this shows how little my mind is compared to the hand of God.

i am not saying that this is the greatest place on earth or that this is where we will be for the next 100 years but for today...it seems perfect.

it's called Mosaic. check it out here.

In response to Theology pt. 3

2008-09-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

SSU has been leaving comments on my last post about her beliefs about the question i raised. things have been absolutely crazy lately with our move across country and i have not been able to respond to her thoughts. i have thought about it a lot and have come up with many biblical backings to defend my view. i love God's sovereignty in protecting me of looking like a fool (which i do often) in diverting my attention till now.

in my last entry i raised the question of our salvation being for our ultimate gain or God's ultimate gain. i made the comment that i believe that it is contradicting of itself to say both. this is why i make very clear that what i say is NOT inerrant, NOT biblical fact; just something i am wrestling with. thanks SSU!!!

the reason i said what i did in my original question is because of the aspect of scripture that calls, after salvation, for us to die to self (which is all over scripture). with this fact alone, it makes no sense if salvation is for OUR ultimate gain.

(but this fact has to play into all the other facts of scripture. scripture works together as God's spoken word. i sometimes fail when it comes to putting my interpretations into the context of scripture as a whole.)

as i have been reading, praying, reading some more, praying some more...in seeing scripture as a whole...it seems our gain/happiness/blessedness and our sacrifice both work together to bring glory to God. it seems that our ultimate happiness and God's ultimate happiness are the same; us sacrificing ourselves for the glory of God so that God may bring us great joy.

our salvation is to be used by God for His glory to bring us satisfaction...of us having more of Jesus.

i guess i get so confused when i look at the christian community and see how there is a great number of people using their salvation as a stepping stone in life but are missing God all together. in my eyes, it seems that their salvation stops at their salvation experience. that's where the heart of my question was raised. (today) it seems pretty evident that ALL of God is for our happiness/blessedness (check out the sermon on the mount of Jesus sake...literally (specifically the beatitudes)). it seems you can't separate out our ULTIMATE happiness vs. Gods ULTIMATE happiness...their one thought.

theology pt. 3

2008-08-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

salvation:

do you think that salvation is for our ultimate benefit or to ultimately benefit God? i use the word ultimately purposefully because my thought initially fall's under both categories but i think the ultimate purpose of salvation can only fall in one of these categories without contradicting each other.

3 for 3

2008-08-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

Saturday i finished that last wedding that i was officiating this summer...it just so happened to be my mother-in-laws wedding. it was beautiful. this was the final thing we had been looking forward to before we focused on our move to the Portland area. with this down...things are about to get crazy. 6 days till our move.

here are some picture from this weekends adventures.

Stacy and I at the rehearsal dinner

Stacy and I "hot stuff" at the rehearsal dinner

Stacy, her mom, her mom's mom

Noelle, her mom, her mom's mom, her mom's mom's mom

(4 generations)

Stacy's brothers and Aunt Sara

Uncle Matt and Aunt Sara with Noelle

Think'n about bust'n into a rap

yeah, my hands on her butt

my amazing family

all the family is gone and it's time to get to packing. SSU: i owe you a response to the comment you made on "theology 1"...it's coming soon. i can now focus on the scriptures that you gave me in response to that entry.

creating monsters

2008-08-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

today felt like the perfect day to introduce the time wasting game of paper football to my boys. they began to building their skills for when they begin grade school they will be one step ahead of the competition and be able to destroy any one that stands in their way.

we also decided to bring in one of our neighbor friends.

if your kid will be around my kid...tell them to watch out!!!

(notice that i had to put their first initial on their football so there would be no fighting...and yes that is a "L" for Landon...not a "V")

theology pt. 2

2008-08-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

remember: i am not posting these blogs as fact but as discussion starters to help form and solidify my (and your) theology. i love hearing all points of view and having good healthy discussion (feelings aside). leave me comments. molding my theology is my life long process so let's get started.

the sinful nature.

in my journey to understand reformed theology the question of our sinful nature kept coming up in my mind. i know full well what James 1:13-15 says, "Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am being tempted by God,' for God cannot be tempted with evil, and He Himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown gives birth to death." temptation and sin does not come from God. the question kept raising in my heard, how does this fit in the theology of a sovereign God...a God centered life...a God that has total control over ALL things?

just like every one of you, i know my weaknesses and it seems there is one sin more than any other that i struggle with. if God has complete control why doesn't He take this from me? i have begged Him over and over again to rid my life of this filth and i keep coming back to it. does He allow me to struggle for a purpose? does He hold me in my filth to keep me humble?

if this were so, this would contradict every thing i know God to be...a God who HATES sin...a God who turned His sight from His Son because He became sin on our behalf on the cross...when Jesus prepared to go to the cross in the garden of gethsemane, with the knowledge of becoming sin (and its consequences...separation from God) brought Him to blood sweat tears. it does not make sense that God would keep us in our filth to teach us a lesson (though, for those who love God, all things work together for good...Romans 8:28).

the apostle Paul struggled through this in Romans 7:7-25. we are able to see his struggle of "understanding his own actions" (v. 15). he see two opposite worlds at war within him. good and evil, righteousness and sin (he also talks about this war in Colossians 2:13-15 and the victory we have). he continues and describes this battle within as "he does what he wants but (what he wants) is the very thing he hates" (v. 15). he then confesses that nothing good lives in him, in his flesh (his natural state without Christ). he says that he has the desire to do what's right but not the ability to carry it out (v. 18).

this is my struggle. i have the knowledge of what's right but i can not carry it out (in my own power). i do not have the ability to choose right (apart from the Holy Spirit of God).

in my own struggle and my knowledge of Scripture it seems to make perfect sense that the only ability i have within me...in my own power...is to choose sin. my flesh fights against (resist) the things of God. the Holy Spirit then brings me back to repentance. in a round about way...i can choose to sit in my filth because that is in my ability (in my fleshly state which is constantly at war with God)...but to choose God is outside our will.

Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."

to choose righteousness is Christ (and not our choice at all)...to choose sin is the flesh. these two will war (even in our hearts) till Christ returns. But remember...we are not slaves to sin because we have power outside our strength (Romans 6:17-18).

your thoughts?

caption please...

2008-08-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

my wife and i were hanging out with some friends last night watching the olympics. while googling some stuff we found this picture...

leave a caption:

i'm thinking one of these posters...

...with the caption: COMMITMENT: never give up no matter the cost

theology pt. 1

2008-08-17T17:44:00.001-07:00

i have not blogged near as much recently because i have been spending a lot of time in my Bible, journaling, praying, and reading. i have been battling through the southern baptist theology that i was brought up in. i guess you can call me a recovering baptist. simply put i am thinking a lot through reformed theology.

it's hard to struggle through something like this in the sight of the world (on the www) (as someone who has worked in the church for 9 years) but it may be the only way to come to great conclusions. i formed this blog as a journal for my thoughts so here they are...raw. please feel free to comment your thoughts on my thoughts and check back to see my response.

i will try to keep these post simple and clear.

this thought process starts off with the question of how much choice do we have in this world with a supreme and personal God?

i am coming to the conclusion that we less choice than i ever thought before. we make choices ever day...some good...some could be better and that makes this process hard. in Romans 3:9-10, the apostle Paul says that no one is righteous, no not one. he also say is Romans 7:18 that "i know that no good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh."

first, you have to define flesh. our flesh is our natural state apart from the work of God's Spirit.

to get to the point, i am coming to the realization that the only choice we have as humans is to resist Christ...the sinful nature...our sinful desires. our natural bent, that no one can argue with (who believes in the Scriptures), that our natural state, from day one, is sinful. we are born to resist God. Therefore, our natural state is the only freedom of choice we can possibly have. The only choice we are capable of making is sin.

John 6:65 says, "no one can come to (Jesus) unless it is granted him by the Father." the choice of us "choosing God" is not our choice to begin with. if we are able to "choose" any good, it's because of God. John also say in chapter 1:13, "to all who did receive Him, who believe in His name, He gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

conclusion: we have no will to choose God or to choose righteously.

your thoughts???

learning to ride a bike

2008-08-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

Austen learned how to ride his bike without training wheels...

he's progressing wouldn't you say?

returning to middle school pranks

2008-08-04T14:33:00.000-07:00

did you ever go to an overnight camp as a middle schooler? remember all the pranks that were pulled. you had to either be the one initiating the pranks (all you losers out there) or the one receiving the pranks (which we me...as a middle schooler...high school was a different story). there was no middle ground or that person quickly becomes the receiver...which i was always thankful for.

today...at my house...i just entered into the middle school phase of my life again and i will not take it laying down. i was talking a shower (pleasent thought...i know) this morning and my beautiful, lovely, sexy, conniving wife comes from nowhere and dumps a cup of ice cold water on my head. BRING IT...IT'S ON!

i must say that i was shocked. almost 7 years of marriage and never anything so immature...and now she has started a war. oh i can stoop to her level.

this is where you come in.

i need help comming up with the greatest revenge. leave me a comment on what i should do about this. give me your best shot.

most likely she will never read this blog because she never read my blogs...but if she happens to, oh well becasue i want her tremble every time she takes a shower or goes to the restroom or whatever. i want her to fear letting her guard down. but when she does...WHAM!!!!

haha...she is sitting, right now, at the other computer blogging...having no idea what going on 6 feet away.

to be continued.................

what would you do

2008-07-29T14:51:00.001-07:00

i ran across this yesterday while reading a blog that i like to read. i was introduced to this song...maybe it's better described as a story.

what would you do...if you heard the words directed to you from your doctor: aggressive, terminal, cancer?

would you cry out to God? many of us would because it's natural when we are facing something bigger than us to turn to the One who is bigger than us.

what would be the focus of your conversation to Him? would it be me or would it be HIM?

you have to see these two video here.

candy cigarettes

2008-07-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

i was reading a blog today from brody who was talking about candy that he remember as a kid?

did you ever buy candy cigarettes? so amazing but so wrong!

check out this blog

2008-07-19T11:08:00.001-07:00

check out this blog by Amos Lanka entitled "Aimlessness and Affluenza"...he brings up some great thought provoking points.

a wordle?

2008-07-18T08:30:00.001-07:00

this morning i was introduced to a tool that many of you may already know about...but it's new to me. i was reading Aaron Ivey's blog and found out that when you enter your RSS feed into this website, it makes a cloud of words that are most frequently used on your blog. pretty sweet stuff!

click on it to see it larger.

shower time

2008-07-17T14:03:00.001-07:00

nothing says "growing up" like taking a shower all by yourself. no...not me, my four year old. (it's funny how progression works in our heads. one day we want to be all grown up and take showers alone...then we look forward to the times when we're not alone...hallelujah to marriage.)

he took his first shower all by himself and it was hilarious listening to him as i laid on my bed. he had the removable shower head in his hand and giggling randomly.

i can only imagine where he was hitting himself.

my little boy is growing up fast...where is this time going?

anger in brokenness

2008-07-16T14:32:00.000-07:00

this was written yesterday...

my heart is broken today. everything inside of me is begging for the tears to flow but anger is built up in this brokenness that has put me at a weird state.

about 5 days ago i was reading a blog posting from the Rescue Center in Haiti that i find myself checking in on frequently. this particular story caught my attention from some reason. this father of three was at a loss for what to do with his 6 month old daughter. his wife died after delivering her and he could take care of her anymore. he hiked 6 hours with her to reach the Rescue Center with a hope they could take her.

i have been doing a lot of reading about what some, who have nothing, choose to do with their children in Haiti and found out that many families give their children away with the hope of them having food on the table, a roof over their head, and possibly an education (something you and i may never understand). many times that does not happen but the risk is worth it for many poor families. (nightline covered a story that sparked my interest...read these for some insight from Haitians here and here.) this father gave his daughter to the Rescue Center in search for hope.

she was not healthy when she came in, as many Haitian children aren't (1/5 of the children don't live past age 5), and i read today that she passed away...suffering from 108.3 temperature and seizures.

as amazingly rough as that is...there is no way for them to let the father know of her passing. he will come next week to visit her and find out the news.

my heart breaks for Lori and Licia who sacrifice for and serve Haiti with all their heart...who have greater faith then you and i will ever experience in our "safe" lives and "safe" churches here in the states. my heart breaks for these ladies who gave so much but lost this earthly battle for her life (though God is in total control). my heart breaks for the suffering that Chabina had to go through. i chest has had that lump in it all day...the lump that feels like i am holding emotions back...but i can't let it out.

my heart is angry because as i lay my head on my pillow tonight there is a dad who lays his head down after a hard day at work with the hope of seeing his daughter next week but the reality is after he travels 6 hours by foot...he will find out that the LORD took his baby girl home. as a dad (not from a godly perspective) this seems very unfair. i am broken for the day he learns the very thing that i know... but i am hundreds, if not, thousands of miles away.

i wish i had to the means to hike to his house to share to him the bad news. as a dad i want him to know!

taken from the Rescue Center blog...i lean on it too:

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways My ways,'

declares the LORD.

9 'As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are My ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

tangible vs. the unseen

2008-07-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

it's funny how money (or lack of) will change your faith.

we sold our house here in Albuquerque and in this market that is a big deal. we even got the asking price. the only thing is we did a Real Estate Contract (REC) with the buyers which means that the responsibility of this mortgage is not totally off our shoulders until June of next year. it works like a lease to own but the house in the the buys name and we (the sellers) act as the bank. then in one year the buyers will refinance and everything will go in their name and our mortgage will be paid off... the problem now lies in the fact that this bank doesn't have a lot of money.

July 1st was the first payment due from our current "renters". Today's the 11th and, per online, the money hasn't been paid to our escrow company. With the weekend approaching and the 16th fast on it's heals (the day our mortgage is due) it looked like our mortgage wasn't going to be paid on time. WE HAVE NEVER PAID A LATE MORTGAGE!

needless to say, the Young's household has been a stressful household the past couple of days.

i had a great opportunity to be the rock for my wife and i failed. God has done so much to this point to assure us that we are suppose to move to Portland in September but i was afraid of being wrong. what if we misread God and He is trying to get us to stay here. what if...what if...what if...

my wife went to be this morning (after working her 12 hr. night shift) a wreck and stressed out with the idea that we might have been screwed on this REC deal. i chose to lean on the tangible rather then on the unseen.

the only thing that has been constant my whole life is the directions that God has taken me. my family is in the midst of God taken us somewhere and i let worry blind my sight of what God is doing, and most importantly, what He has already done. i had an opportunity to share encouraging words to my wife and pray with her before she went to sleep to help set her mind at ease that God is in control...instead i left our room (her) frustrated at her frustration and at the whole situation.

to end a long story, i will spare the details but the detail you need to know is...God is still proven to be my constant. there was a mistake in the billing and the "renters" weren't properly notified.

my heart was unsettled, worried, nervous, and frustrated...but God was in control the whole time. i missed an opportunity to be my wifes rock and that saddens me. forgive me God for my lack of faith and family leadership.

Matthew 6:25-34, Prov. 3:5-6

the whole earth is full of His glory

2008-07-07T11:20:00.000-07:00

i am taking my own challenge...this morning i was sitting on my back porch, after reading i found myself begging the Spirit of God to break my heart for something...anything. i guess i currently feel overwhelmed by the needs that i have seen in the world and i am desperate for the Holy Spirit to clear up the call for my family in how we can "help."

help is a funny word in the perspective of serving the hungry, the orphans, the widows...

as i was sitting outside praying for a broken heart...in the midst of a calm morning i felt a gentle wind on my face. i told God how comforted i felt by it because it was like His gentle breath blowing over me. when you have a heavy heart that breath is reassuring that God is near. as i was sitting in His peace i heard the wind in the trees next door. it got stronger and stronger. the tree in my backyard, with the grass, had a strong breeze running through them. no lie, as i was sitting there i felt nothing. i could watch creation around me blow for a few seconds but where i was sitting there...i felt nothing. i opened my eyes and i tried to feel the wind...still nothing. then it all died down again and left me in wonder of what just happened.

yesterday at church we sang the the song, "holy is the Lord" and i was hit hard with the phrase "the whole earth if filled with His glory." as i was worshiping yesterday with the thought of the picture of my last post...singing the earth is filled with His glory hit me differently then before. i immediately wrote the phrase in my journal with the intent of blogging about it. i couldn't help but think that in the midst of so much suffering in the world, these people are still surrounded by the glory of God...just as you and i are as we sit here and read or type.

Romans 1 reminds us that there is no excuse for those who deny God because His glory cries out in all creation. the glory of God is all around...even (or espceially) around those who suffer.

the Spirit of God is compared to the wind in John 3...that everyone born of the Spirit is blown like the wind. as i sat and thought about my experience this morning with the wind i couldn't help but think back to the phrase of the song i wanted to write about today. maybe, just maybe, God has given me content to write about.

the angels song in Isaiah 6:3 rings nothing but truth. it is something that we need to grasp as believers. everywhere we walk, the Spirit of God is there. every picture we see, the spirit of God is there. suffering CAN be so blinding (suffering can also bring you to maturity in Christ...suffering is necessary). if God has yet to lift the blindness from the eyes of the suffering...the Wind will never be felt. as believers we have been called to be the Wind to the hopeless. "So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit (being blown by the Wind)" - John 3:8.

the breath that was so refreshing to me also was taken from me for a moment (in my interpretation) to remind me that many many people...including children...have never felt the wind of God...the wind of hope...though it is all around them. We have an opportunity to let the Wind be felt...through our lives...through our sacrifice.

Jesus has called us out as believers...we MUST act.

pray for a broken heart so that passion will drive your heart to see it to full completion. lets stop being dreamers (of who i am the greatest) and be movers (of who i am the worst).

a child cries

2008-07-05T20:13:00.001-07:00

this poem speaks exactly what i am trying to say. i found it tonight...after i posted my last post. a part of me wants to apologize for the picture i am about to post but the other part of me has no plan to apologize. Kat's posted this picture on her blog (entitled, "please don't look away") along with her raw emotions put down in a poem. read it.

Kat's Poem:

A child cries
I build my wall higher
brick by costly brick
until I am safe
safe from need
safe from fear
safe from everything
she daily bears

A child cries
and so do we
shed our tears of excess
as she sheds hers of need

A child cries
we must cry too
for the food
we’ve withheld
from the hungry
to ensure our comfort
that was never
ours to own

A child cries
Oh God of Heaven
let me cry too
let me weep
let me mourn
for the poor
for the hungry
for the widow
for the orphan
yes, God for the orphan
please God for the orphan

for they are us
a different color
but they are us
a different place
but they are us

fathers, mothers
sons and daughters
they are us, they are us

A child cries
and I am discontent
with comfort
I have seen
death in the eyes of a child
I cannot live life for myself
alone
again

A child cries
and I must cry too
So, now
what is it that I will do?

trying again...

2008-07-05T13:36:00.000-07:00

my research of what the 40 day fast is all about has brought up my previous thought of, do we represent God to be the god of the rich (lower case "g" on purpose...because it's a false god). in my attempt to vomit out what is on my heart, i may have made some things confusing. i want a second chance to explain myself...what's on my heart.

you know, it changes things when you think about a "revelations" you have and then also think about how your "revelation" prompts change in yourself.

my friend Marsha got me thinking about my term of "fly-by evangelism." i think i might have painted a false picture of what i was really trying to say. taken the example given in my blog, going downtown to "minister" to the homeless is necessary. i guess my greatest question is do we have any interest in wanting to understand where these people are (mentally and physically). does our heart break for them? do we accept them for who they are because outside the grace found in Jesus Christ...really, that is where we should be found!

i get sick over the thought that we might head downtown to "check mark the box" of evangelism (i can't believe i just used that term). our actions promote, "i am here to tell you about jesus but you'll never understand HOPE because you're unwilling to change your lifestyle."

the other end of the spectrum is the passionate young person who has a true drive to evangelize the world. this guy approaches a person on the streets with a wallet in his back pocket and $200 on his debit card. he starts passionatley spurting off scripture to this guys and all this guys see is a rich man who doesn't get it...a rich man preaching hope to whom most likely has never experience hopelessness like living on the streets.

God's portraied as the god of the rich.

i think the answer for us who have HOPE is that we pray for a broken heart and a supernatural understanding of the people God leads us to. we have to realize we can't change the whole world but you can make a difference. the question then must be raised, "how can i make the greatest impact."

the things i have read recently are encouraging. i think the tide has great potential in shifting...the tide of believers wanting to make a REAL difference...wanting to put themselves in the shoes of those who find themselves down, out, and near death.

my pray for you...anyone who reads this...is that God would place a hunger in your heart to live beyond yourself. that God would shatter your heart for the homeless...the widows...the orphans...the hungry. I pray that you would find a way to keep that vision in front of you (and your family) so time would NEVER heal that brokenness.

my prayer for hungry, widows, orphans...that they would see Jesus in me and in you. that they would see how you understand them though you may never full understand. that they see your broken heart and they find HOPE in Jesus Christ through your service.

i pray we get off our comfortable ass and make a difference.

the 40 day fast

2008-07-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

i just came across this movement today. it's a blogworld 40 day fast. very unique and i am findng it very interesting. this is not a typical 4o day fast but it accomplishes more than what any one person can do by themselves and it raises awareness to people like me. as of today they are in their 13 day of the 40. if you're someone who is overwhelmed by the worlds needs...check this out. this could possibly help bring to focus some great organizations that are looking beyond themselves to change the world...one life at a time.

something that my wife and i are starting to get is the call for us a believers in Jesus Christ...to care for the broken, needy, hungry, parent-less, alone, abandoned, etc. mainly the ones that Jesus has called us to take care of and in my opinion, we, as american believers (in general..including me), have lost sight of. we have lost sight of it because we are to busy looking at ourselves. this is not bad but it becomes bad when we are so mesmerized by our lives mirror...we don't look beyond it.

join me in checking this out! leave me a comment of something that catches your attention!

check this out to get the scoop on the background and purpose of the 40 day fast.

the greatest summer television show EVER

2008-07-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

oh my freak'n goodness...wipeout...i have never laughed so hard. go to abc.com and watch the past episodes and find out what i mean. freak'n John Anderson and John Hanson (the hosts) are hilarious. it can be compared to the old spike tv show MXC.

this makes life worth it!!!

2008-07-03T15:33:00.000-07:00

in sight of this, nothing is worth the complaint!

we struck water in New Mexico!!!

2008-07-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

who knew, there is running water in New Mexico...i mean besides the nasty rio grande...you can hardly call that running water. it's more like a cesspool than anything else.

i had one of the greatest days out with my family yesterday. we went out to Jemez Springs and hiked back to see the falls. remember that these are falls in New Mexico, not the great Northwest. we packed a lunch and made the hour journey to the town of Jemez Springs.

after about a 15 minute hike we got to this.

this is Stacy and the boys getting to close for comfort. it was funny the boys interest in looking over the edge but not really wanting to get too close.

here is an example of Austen's face when he's too close for comfort. this picture took a lot of coercing to get some what of a smile. what you don't see here is about a foot and a half from his left foot is about a 100 foot drop off.

this is Stacy and Austen checking out the falls.

...and me and my baby girl enjoying the scenery.

I LOVE HIKING!

part 2

2008-06-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

when i was in China, backpacking to indigenous villages, these peoples misconception was that christianity was the religion of the "white man." because they did not have the Bible in their language they saw the scriptures as the white dudes faith structure...

that's my point i guess with the homeless...do we allow the misconception of who Jesus actually came for to flood out of our lifestyles because we're rich/content/happy/blessed...do we seek out the sick and needy as a lifestyle? probably not...few of us do. this has to change!

(guys, i am not talking about a once a month mission opportunity through your church...i am talking about a lifestyle, a prayer life, an action step you build into your family system.)

entertain this thought

2008-06-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

do we represent God to be the god of the rich?

do me a favor and entertain this idea! as my friends are on a mission trip in downtown P-town serving the street kids, this thought/idea/possible truth hit me as i was cleaning my "comfortable" house.

rich?!? i would never consider myself to be rich and thankfully so. i don't think i would handle it properly. like many "good christians" i have prayed for wealth so i can give it all away but in reality, i think i would expand my "stuff" before i gave much away (i don't know if godly giving is...me first, the needy can have my left overs). nevertheless, i am rich because i have a home, bank account, food on the table, 2 cars, most of the time i can afford gas, a mountain bike that i love (but could use a better one...dangit, see what i mean). i am rich.

this question comes from an inward battle i have been dealing with for over a month now. i have be reading these guys blogs from subversivechurch and they have raised a lot of questions about "the church" today and it's purpose (warning: this is not for the light hearted or those who get offended easily about todays church...or maybe this should be for you...it's a great blog). i've started reading through scripture objectively with the intent of seeing the church as Jesus birthed it. i have started in the book of Acts. it's been fruitful but i am a long way from my conclusion.

back to the topic now...thinking about the street kids that my friends served this week and daydreaming about the conversations they may have had...i can only imagine that many would be turned off even to the mention of the gospel. i know in my little experience in dealing with the homeless, they have been there and done that with Jesus. they have sought help with "the church" and been turned away. then we come in to their lives because we have a quick conviction and tell them about Jesus and how hope can be found in Him.

HOPE?!? do we know was true hopeless is? can we fly-by evangelize and expect someones life to be transformed? it's not beyond God...but we're representing a false gospel to these who are in need of true rescue!

is Jesus hope to the hopeless...you bet ya! but fly-by promises are harmful and false.

we represent God to be the god of the rich! you don't believe me...what's your first thought next time you pass a homeless man at an intersection or seem someone less fortunate than you? do me a favor and look around your church this next weekend and see who's welcome in the doors...if a smelly homeless man walked in, would you sit next to him? before today, i probably wouldn't.

we speak,"hope for the hopeless" but live "Jesus has come for the healthy." That's not to mention the sacrifice that we don't make during the week. this is not only unbiblical but blasphemous.

i am sure there will be more to come with my heart on the "american church" as i battle through it!

crave...my prayer for you today

2008-06-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

to all my homies in P-Town. you don't have a recent post for me to leave my comment on but i want to let you know how i am praying for you today. i know today is your last full day on the "field" in DTP (downtown Portland). though i have no clue what you are doing today i do know that a lot of teams work hard all week and spend their last day doing some sort of recreation. there is so much to do there that i know you will be blessed.

my prayer is that as you wrap up, you will have endless conversations today to one another about what God has done through you this week. i pray this morning (and continue through out the day today) that you will celebrate Christ in what you have experienced. as the sun goes down on this evening i whole heartedly want you to feel that you have left your heart in Portland with the street kids you have encountered, feel that you have no regrets, feel that you did all you went to do, feel satisfied in Christ.

if you are skipping out on your play-day and are back on the streets again i pray that through your blood, sweat, and tears...street teens would open up to you today and see Christ through you today as your heart breaks because you know that you are going home...to a home with, most likely, a loving family and security for your future. let your heart break. hold nothing back. i read Acts 3 and 4 this morning for my time in the Word and i tell you Peter and John held nothing back...got in trouble for it...and experience the power of God and were forced to their knees in prise to God (true satisfaction). more happened to them in that one 24 hour period then most experience in a life time.

i am proud of you and pray you are changed and that some find hope in the hope that you have found Christ...the author of life.

crave mission trip to Portland

2008-06-26T14:32:00.000-07:00

ironically enough a team of 11 and 12th graders, from the church i recently left staff, are currently on a mission trip to Portland, OR...where i am about to move. i love these students and the leaders with all my heart. follow their journey here.

there is one thing that they did that i respect them so much for. i don't know all the detail other than what i gather from their blogspot. i can't wait to get all the details when they get home.

what i do know is that they went to Portland so serve the street kids. if you are unaware, Portland has a population of about 1.5 million people with the largest number of street kids in the US. check out some other stats. the first day there...so it seems...the students of Crave first hit the streets to understand the audience they were about to reach out too. it seems they dressed up and participated in something called "street simulation." they put on clothes from the local shelter to look like homless teens. they then had tasks to preform...such as asking for x-amount of dollars, etc. the purpose of this was to know what these street kids go through just to understand them a little bit (and i emphasis little bit becasue there is no way to fully know where the are coming from...their abusive home history, their past around in the foster care system, their nights on the streets...no one evening could fully explain all that. what it can do is help a few prideful students from Albuquerque, NM humble themselves a bit to have a meaningful conversation or open ear with someone who feels unwanted...possibly change their live forever...so i pray).

please join me in praying for these guys till they get back in new mexico on Saturday, June 28th. join me in praying for them one week after as God continues to deal with them in for what they saw and experience. may they never be the same after experiencing the power of Holy Spirit.

all of me

2008-06-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

i went on an early bike ride with my best friend and on my way home i was listening to my ipod, the band "The Longing." they are a band i find myself listening to a lot lately. you could categorize this album as worship.

this morning i was that idiot you pass on the road that you see screaming his music without a care in the world...even other drivers. i was worshiping God. it was great. maybe you have been at this place before, i found myself in that "holy giggle" stage as i was singing and i belted out the name of Jesus in the appropriate instrumental of the chorus. i could help it. it was awesome.

then it hit me. i've been at this place before. worshiping at one of the many passion conferences i've been to or other times when i totally feel the Spirit of God moving when i am "worshiping"...you know what i mean...right...when all you can see is Jesus and nothing else matters?

it's funny to me, and i think i can see this today because all i am going through spiritually (learning depravity...worthlessness...selflessness...and yet still being able to stand in Gods presence), that we can belt out the name of Jesus at the appropriate time but still miss all of who He is. i mean we can be in love the idea of Jesus but never get the transforming power of Jesus.

i can we belt out the name of Jesus in a praise/worship setting and leave that setting unchanged. how can we leave that experience with the satisfaction of that experience...you know...in love with the emotional connection and still so self focused that we find ourselves struggling to find our way back to "that place" where we able to freely belt out His name. is the american dream crippling us? is the status quo crippling us? screw it all! transform me Jesus and take away all my blessings if it's for Your glory.

i think i am starting to get Isaiah response..."here i am, send me...(no matter the cost...no matter what i am sacrificing...take me...ALL OF ME).

i am still processing through all this...far from perfect apart from Christ!

telemarketers

2008-06-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

since moving into our "transition house" that i talked about earlier we had to get a home phone number (no cell phone service in BFE). for the past 4 years we have lived off our cell phones and it has been great to save money without having a land-line. wow, i don't know if the telemarketing business is booming or if i forgot how many calls we use to get but wow, it's annoying. i guess not annoying enough for me put our number on a "do not call" list but we're only here for 2 more months before moving to Portland...then no more land-line

i got a call this morning from the albuquerque police department...more specifically the gang and drug department. he proceeded to politely tell me how gang bangers and druggies do not regard the life of our brave officers. he wanted to know if they could "count on me" to help them financially. i felt like if i said no, then i didn't support or appreciate what they are doing for us. but i know the drill so i proceeded to politely say no.

i thought through this before because i HATE feeling like a jerk (like many of you have no reservations when talking to these fools). i didn't just say no but also told him that my wife and i carefully give to organizations every month and this is not something we are able to do.

then he got more forceful with me. "sir" he said, "many are just giving a one time gift of $22." i wanted to say, "fool, $22 might not be a lot for you but that is a date night or a Saturday out with my kids" but i didn't. I politely, again, repeated myself with my reason for NO.

then he hung up on me and made me feel like the ass.

thanks albuquerque police department...

should i be the ass first...will that make me feel better about myself?

faith...or therefore lack of

2008-06-19T12:47:00.000-07:00

check out this amazing teaching on faith...lack of faith. it's convicting and right on the money. this pastor has an amazing insight into the word of God and the role of the church...love it!

http://www.thevillagechurch.net/resources/audio/200805181100HWC21ASAAA_MattChandler_LukePt17-ConvictionOfTheUnseen.mp3

if you want the podcast for it:

The Village Church
Matt Chandler
Sermon: Conviction of the Unseen

it's worth your time!

teaching selflessness

2008-06-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

it's astonishing to me how the selfish nature is a strong competitor for one of our greatest struggles as tainted human beings. if you are someone who believes that humans are ultimately born GOOD...take a deep look into the core of children. there are many great qualities that children have...enough for Jesus to hold them up on numerous occasions...but still born tainted by sin.

the greatest thing we are going through right now with my oldest is servanthood. he loves to torture his younger brother. he love to compete in everything they do. he love to win. he thinks he is deserving of EVERYTHING because he is older.

what did he do the other day to get in so much trouble? ahh yes, my middle boy had to go the the bathroom. they were playing in my mother-in-laws room. Austen locked her door and went to the bathroom before Landon could get there. Landon stood at the door screaming and you could hear him dancing around. by the time we got the door opened, Landon pissed his pants. all because Austen though he should go the to bathroom first...you know the crazy thing, Austen didn't even have to go...it was all to torture his brother.

servanthood/selflessness is a difficult to teach because it everything his little body is fighting against.

there are so many other GREAT qualities that i could share that he has but that is another blog for another day. he is an amazing son and a good friend.

please do not take this blog as a complaint. i am so thankful that God has given me the responsibility to raise me three kids. i am so thankful that God has given me the heart to raise my kids under His authority and not my own. though this could be one of the most difficult times of teaching, and provoking of much anger in me, i am so thankful for the blood of Jesus Christ. it is by that alone that i am able to stand in Gods grace and teach my kids of the importance of living for the glory of God.

...though i fail many times...

beautiful girl

2008-06-13T10:59:00.001-07:00

ohh...it was worth the wait. isn't she beautiful.

quiet moments in the Young household

2008-06-13T10:26:00.001-07:00

when things are quiet...you know something isn't good. in my house there is constant talking, yelling, arguing, laughing, crying...you name it. so quiet is not good! i was doing my morning reading of blogs and things were real quiet so i went to investigate. this is what i found.

this is my 4 year old cutting the toe nails of my 3 year old. i wont even to this. silly me, i let it continue. after about 2 minutes and me in the other room continuing my daily dose of blog reading...this is what i got next.

Austen cut his finger nail a little bit too far down. a little bit of bleeds. a lot of crying. priceless. NICE!

NEVER take three toddlers to the library during nap time

2008-06-12T14:32:00.000-07:00

one of my greatest prayers for my kids is that they love to read. i hated reading as a kid and my vocabulary proves it. praise God, my kids love books. the love of books brings the consequents/love of libraries. i don't know if i think i am superdad or something, why else would i venture out to take all three of my toddlers (ages 4,3,1) to the public library during their afternoon nap time? nothing else makes greater sense, right? is the greater question, why did we think it would be a good idea to have three toddlers at the same time?

if you think you have well disciplined kids, try this one on for size, i dare you! i have never wanted to shoot myself in the face so badly over a 20 minute period. if you are a stay-at-home dad or a single dad and need to get out of the house because the kids are driving you nuts...DON'T GO TO THE LIBRARY! go to a nice park or something. somewhere where talking, laughing, arguing, crying, and you yelling at your kids is appropriate.

cheers...to all the stay-at-home dads!!!

how far is too far?

2008-06-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

i was mowing our grass today and ran into a issue.

if you know anything about albuquerque, new mexico, much like most of new mexico, there is absolutely no grass anywhere unless you plant it. at our previous house i planted grass in the back yard because i couldn't fathom our kids playing in dirt or landscaped rock. it wasn't huge by any means and to share to you how un-huge it really was, i didn't even own a lawn mower...did all the cutting with our weed-eater.

at our new house (our temp. house in albuquerque) they have a lot more grass then we did. they were gracious and left their lawn mower.

today was the second time i cut the grass and when i started it up, my oldest, Austen, sprinted for the hills, screaming like a school girl, because "it was too loud." come on, the little dude is 4 1/2 years old. suck it up bud.

i have taken plenty of sociology classes to know what a sociologist would tell me but i am not raising my son to be PC or to have a well balanced psyche. i have the responsibility to raise him under the authority of Christ. in my mind that also means teaching him to be brave and to have courage...to do things even when you don't want to...to trust me in that i will protect him at all costs.

he would have nothing to do with it. i pulled all the stops (even a small threat) to get him to mow the grass with me and he just stood there crying...trying to pull away from me. i got so frustrated. i despreately want him to be brave and trust me but he had nothing to do with it. i hope i didn't cross any lines with him. i was sure to let him know that i love him and that he makes me proud in spite of being scared of the mower. i am not disappointed because he's not what i want him to be but i get disappointed because i know what he CAN be in Christ and i want to instill these qualities in him early...when he still impressionable. i DON'T want him to grow up thinking he's a failure in my eyes because i could not be more proud of both my boys!

back into mountain biking

2008-06-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

this summer i have gotten back to my love of mountain biking. these past few years is has been hard to get out because it seems that every 15 minutes or so Stacy and i are spitting out another kid. none the less, being a stay at home dad has it's rewards...the greatest being i get to spend time with my kids that a lot of dad's don't...another being i have more time to get out and enjoy God's creation.

yesterday was the first time this season that i decided to endure the mountain with a friend. seriously, it was two years ago that i consistently rode. one vasectomy and twenty extra pounds later...i am looking forward to getting back into the sport.

when riding, it seems people either complain about their legs getting tired or there lungs about to burst, it's rarely both...for serious riders. yesterday my legs were jello and my lungs exploded inside my body...so it felt! i will probably have a long road to recovery before i can walk down my stairs again but as the old saying says, "no pain, no gain," right?

do you not yet understand?

2008-06-05T09:52:00.000-07:00

i am reading through the book of Mark. Jesus had recently fed the 5 thousand with 12 baskets of food left over. in Mark 8 He now fed the 4 thousand with 7 baskets left over. the disciple get into a boat immediately afterwards with Jesus and say...dangit, we forgot bread to eat, what are we going to do.

Jesus reminding them what He had already done in their midst says to them, "do you not yet understand?"

how blind are we to trust the hand of God when He has provided so many time in our lives? how quick do we forget that when we are pursing Him, He will take care of us. He will either close doors or perform miracles...either way we are taken care of.

we have hope...do we not get that?

the countdown is on

2008-06-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

over the past few days Stacy and i have really talked about how transition sucks. as many of you know we are in transition between albuquerque and portland. we sold our house a few weeks ago and moved into a temporary home for 3 months. the house we are in is a total blessing compared to the 3 bedroom, 1000 sq ft, apartment for all 5 of us that we had lined up...need i remind you that stacy is a day sleeper 4 days a week. yeah, this house is a blessing.

this house is also a transition which makes it hard too. did i mention that it is in BFE, isolated from society. september 1 is the day our house is ready in portland...the countdown is on to normalcy!

real hope for haiti

2008-05-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

earlier i spent about 3 hours reading blogs from Aaron Ivey (band member of Spur 58 and lover of Jesus Christ) about a rescue center (clinic) in Haiti. they are in the midst of a campaign called "Real Hope for Haiti"

over the past 8 months or so my wife has dived into the world of blogging (or stalking) as i like to call it. she came across Aaron and Jamie's blog site (two individual sites though they are married) and read that they were adopting two children from this rescue mission in Haiti. as she dove deeper she not only connected with the heart of the Ivey's but also fell in love with this center in Haiti.

this isn't one of those foundations that you hear about begging for you money to support kids and you have no idea where your dollar is going (not talking about Compassion International. our family has adopted through Compassion and we are extremely blessed...we love you Jonathan). this is a families heart following after God and found themselves in Cazale, Haiti in 1992 hoping to make a difference. in 1999 they took their first child into their home and in 2002 the rescue center come into full fruition.

read their story here. it's truly amazing.

Stacy has been talking about it non-stop for at least 8 months if not longer. she has begged that i read about it...she has now gotten through to me. it recently came to our attention through these blogs that this mission is in need of help financially. this has not come from the rescue center itself but from the people who see the fruit of this center and want to help.

you need to read Aaron's blogs this week to get the full story here. (scroll down till the beginning of this weeks blog entitled "real hope for haiti campaign) it is worth the hour of reading. i am not asking you to do this so you give money or even consider to give money but i am asking you to get connected to a story that bigger than you. a story that is changing lives. a story that needs to be known.

Steven Curtis Chapman loses youngest daugether in accident

2008-05-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

My wife came home from work this morning and told me that she read on Yahoo! that a popular Christian artist (Steven Curtis Chapman) lost one of his adopted daughters from China in an accident that happened at their home. I did some reading his webpage and read that it was true. Maria Chapman, 5 years old, was struck by a car in their driveway and died at the hospital.

Check out this link:
http://chapmanchannel.typepad.com/inmemoryofmaria/

I have clowned Steven Curtis Chapman a lot in my life because his music is not something I listen to. It's just taste difference. Something about this man and his family that is undeniable, they seek to further the kingdom of God here on earth and God has given them a unique heart to caring for orphans all over the world. Through todays research I have found out that aside from him and his wifes three kids, they have adopted 3 girls from China. Aside from his successful singing career, he has also started the Shaohannah's Hope Ministry whose mission is mobilizing the body of Christ to care for orphans.

Check out this link:
shaohannahshope.org

This tragedy comes to an amazing family. This tragedy reminds me to cherish every moment that I get with my three little ones. It reminds me to instill the love of God so deep in their core that He is undeniable...and only through God grace that someday they will receive Christ in their lives and live for a purpose that's greater than themselves.

Chapman family, I could never imagine what you are going through. My prayer is that you will continue to place your faith and hope in Jesus Christ through this senseless time for God always makes sense. I pray you mourn and in your mourning that the hand of God comforts you. I pray that millions will be reminded of the gift they have in their children. I pray that many will be encouraged through the faith and dreams God has given you for your lives and that Christ will be evident through your hearts as you continue to look to your creator in this "Job" type moment.

All glory to God even (an most importantly) through our suffering.

Christianiese

2008-05-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

You know what I mean! If you have been involved in the American church for any time then you have sat in a service and heard a sermon filled with words you would only hear at a church and most likely if you were asked to define them you would be stumped. I want to focus on one word right now. A word that I have sung countless times and probably never knew what I was singing...till now!

HALLELUJAH.

What does this word mean?

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by something that there were no words to describe your heart. Have you ever had so much on your mind that you sat in prayer but couldn't think of ONE word to say. Overwhelmed...with joy. Overwhelmed...with suffering or anger.

Hallelujah simply is translated from the Hebrew text in scripture meaning "let us praise."

Romans 8:26-28 states, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."

Hallelujah!

When our heart is so overwhelmed by the Spirit of God that there are no words...when we are weak in the knees...when we want to praise and cant find the words...when our spirit is broken...Hallelujah.

When our heart is overwhelmed by sin, struggle, suffering, anger...let me praise. Bethany Dillon states it perfect in her song "Hallelujah" (what a ironic titled)..."whatever's in front of me, help me to sing hallelujah...I choose to sing hallelujah."

When there are no words...I choose to sing hallelujah! I am thankful for a God that is familiar with our suffering and familiar with our joy. Don't be afraid to not have the "perfect words" because the perfect word is HALLELUJAH!

Next time you sing this word during a worship setting, think about the Spirit of God interceding on your behalf and rest in His perfect language to approach the throne of grace for you and sit still with one word on your lips...Hallelujah.

Warning: Don't throw this powerful word around senselessly. We may be use to singing it as a joyful response but that has to be transformed in our minds and our heart to fit the biblical definition of this word...God's order for us to praise Him no matter the circumstance,because He deserves it, because He's God. God, in His perfect nature, deserves for us to know what we are saying. Christianiese has to go if we truly want to seek the heart of One True Almighty God!

Cursed Are the Ones Who Can't Abide

2008-05-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

My brain tends to work slower than others. I will never forget when my best friend, Jay, came over to my house one morning to share a new song to me. It was Shane and Shane's new album (hot off the presses) "Pages" and the song was "Embracing Accusations." I got the song. I knew what Shane was saying through it. I have even worshiped to this song over and over. Have you ever known something but then God hits your personally with its meaning after the fact, it brings new perspective...an ah ha moment?

I will also never forget sitting in a worship service (or a concert turned worship service) of the Shanes and being brought to my feet as we were sitting there listing to them sing "Embracing Accusations" and balling like a baby as the freedom of Christ poured over me.

I guess this morning was a reconnection...a remembrance of the truth of this song. I was reading in Galatians 3, the inspiration for this song, and I was able to see right through Paul's (the author) heart. The words after Galatians 4 and 5 are heart piercing for a sinner like me. He boldly proclaims that followers should never again be burdened by the yoke of slavery. Dang...sin burdens my heart often. Never to the point of saying that "God can't...in me" but to the point of feeling like trash. It's Scripture like this one that don't help these feelings because I feel I should be "a better Christian."

It's the precursor to Galatians 4 and 5 that sets the tone for Paul's heart in these verses. It's the precursor that Shane so vividly describes in his song. It's this precursor that should define us...not the lies of Satan.

The truth lies is the fact that cursed are those who can't abide in the book of the laws...in the system set up in the first five books of the OT...the Law. If you can't follow these laws set up by God then you are cursed. Can anyone ever reach this perfectionism?

This truth is followed by a greater truth, Jesus Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming the curse for us...on the cross. The ultimate truth lies in the fact that we will never be good enough but that Christ has freed us from the curse. We have been supernaturally saved from what is rightfully ours.

If this doesn't throw you to your knees than nothing will...except for the day that every knee will bow in His presence.

Total Depravity

2008-05-09T09:40:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I have written a blog. A lot has happened and God has worked a ton in me since. I have leaned more on writing in my journal then writing on this blog but nonetheless God is being glorified in me. I guess it all started with a sermon I heard a few weeks back at City on a Hill here in Albuquerque. It was one of the greatest teachings on why we should worship. Check out the link below if you want to hear it or read it's contents. This is the background of where I am coming from today. It started from the truth taught in this sermon.

http://cityonahillabq.org/teachings/sunday-gathering/our-great-high-priest.

I have just completed a Living World Religions class taught by a teachers that is not a follower of Jesus Christ. The interesting part was when she got to the part of the semester when she taught Christianity. Augustine was an early church father that wrote about his depravity as a human, as a believer in Jesus Christ. This was stated in his book "Confessions." He was accused of focusing more of his writings on the his depravity with the reality being that he wasn't really that depraved. He had a good life. He was accused of trying to further an agenda rather than stating his true life.

OK, I can take this accusation from a worldly perspective but being a disciple of Jesus Christ I know where he is coming from and it is not agenda supported.

One view I see of life, from the perspective of Christ, is best stated by a band that I truly enjoy "Ever Stays Red" in their song "Blue." They state, "To spend one day with You is a thousand time better than I never knew life could be. Cause when I'm with you, All I see is good in me." I will never question their lyrics because with Christ we are able to look at our depraved state and see Christ...which is good in me. The problem is when we encounter people like Joel Olsteen and his followers who take this view and twist it into their unbiblical view of prosperity. That's what gets under my skin. This brings me to a second view, from my perspective when my eyes look upon the holiness of Jesus Christ I am able to see every sin I struggle with (no matter the level of "evilness" it may be). This means when I see Christ I can't help but fall to my knees in shame because I am not able to stand in His presence. No matter how hard I try, I can not stand. When I sing praise songs and worship this is what transforms my life, the unability to stand before a holy God but the His grace allows me to breaks my very core.

This is because when we worship God with the sacrifice of our lives we are worshiping the Great High Priest that the book of Hebrew in Scripture sets up (oh how I love how the Bible sets this truth up from the very beginning). We are able to stand in the holy of holies, in the presence of God, because we have a Great High Priest. Our worship is focused on Christ and Christ alone.

I get depravity. This is something that is renown in my heart. I can and never will be able to see good in me and I pray that is what is resounded through the course of my life.

I came to the realization last night as I was laying in bed that many times I choose right from wrong because I don't want to put myself in a position where Satan could have a foothold in my life...a foothold to lie to me about who I am...as Ephesians states. I chose right out of fear. I realized that I tend to choose right to benefit me or to keep me out of trouble.

Right choices needs to be an overflow of our worship...an overflow of I can't because I will never be good enough...an overflow of our lives lived for a Great High Priest that has been tempted in every way that we have, but yet is still sinless...an overflow of our reality of being able to stand in the holy of holies every time we come before God is prayer because of the saving grace of Christ Jesus.

I don't want to chose right anymore, Christ has chosen me so therefore right is what should comes out of me!

That's freedom from the bondage of sin and death that is offered through salvation. Though I continue to fall I pray I will never lose sight of my depravity for it reminds me of the saving work Jesus Christ has preformed in me.

the inspired-infallible choice

2008-04-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

during the course of my life, especially in the past 6 years, i have prayerfully made decisions looking for the right choice that God has for me and my family. i have been looking for the inspired and infallible choice. over the course of these past years, God has developed in me that i should not worry over decisions. it is through my devotion to God and the way that i "worship" Him (in the since of Romans 12:1-3 worship...sacrificial, life surrendering worship) that the decisions i make will be the "right" decision.

the problem for me has recently lied in the fact that i have had more than one choice on the table that is a good choice. i figure in my continuance to draw near to God that i can just make a choice and it will be the inspired/infallible choice...the choice that God has for me.

i think God is stretching me in that.

without explaining the details (which you can find at ayoungslife.blogspot.com) i am discovering that there is probably not a choice that i could make that is infallible because i am not God. our call, as believers in Jesus Christ, is to "worship" God with our lives and make decisions while remaining sensitive to His Spirit. i wish it was as easy as it flows out of my fingers.

i have to rest in the fact that God is God and i am not. i have to rest in the fact that no matter how hard i pray, my choices are always subject to change...even when everything seems so perfect. i have to rest in the fact that God has given me His word to live in, friends to get wise counsel from, and He has given me my life to surrender to Him.

God take me...all of me...take me (or keep me) where you can use me most!

The Lazy Gene

2008-03-28T12:52:00.001-07:00

I don't know if laziness is a gene that is biologically passed down from generation to generation or if it's just a virus...what ever it is, i got it. Only God knows how much I have wanted boys to raise. He gave me two of them.

My oldest asked me to go outside and play baseball with him. I whined and said, "uggg, I don't want to."

What a privilage I have that many people don't, to play ball with their 4 year old. I am sure many will tell me that they would love to have those moments back to play ball with their sons. I chose not to. That is until God slapped me upside the head and said, "You freak'n idiot, get outside and play baseball."

I don't know if all boys ask question after question, but mine do...CONSTANTLY. It drives me nuts, especially when it's the same question over and over again. Prove me wrong but isn't that the definition of insanity; inguaging in the same thing over and over again with hopes of a different result...yeah, that me!

So when I legit question comes along my natural reaction is..."SHUT UP." I would never say that but that is what my heart screams. Wow, my sinful nature is strong in me.

Moral of story...I suck!

The Cussing Pastor

2008-03-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

Something I have grasped over the past 5 years is Christian Liberty. It's amazing to me, in hind sight, how I have studied something to justify the way I want to live. One great argument among conservative Christians is drinking a beer. I do not see a problem with having a beer. I love to sit with my close friends and drink a cold frothy Killian's or Steam Engine. Sometime we discuss the things of Christ over a drink and sometimes we'll just watch a movie or playing a video game. I will not over-spiritualize a beer. Self-Control is the issue here. Yeah, I am prayerful every time I pick up a beer because I fear my actions causing someone to stumble (someone who may be weak in their faith).

Today I was reading in Colossians three and Paul is claiming holy living and says to "rid yourself of...filthy language." This was a shot to my heart because I do not mind dropping a bomb or two. It's under control, not like my high school years, but I will drop one for an expression, to get a smirk, to get a laugh.

Looking into this a bit further, and if you know me you know that I will not make any rash changes in my Christian Liberty without hard evidence (is that pride?), the textual meaning of "filthy" is "obscene; dirty."

I think you have to take a definition like that and place it into our culture. What is obscene to the people around me? What is dirty to the people around me? Yeah, cuss words (no matter how soft) might be considered obscene. Maybe times are changing and words like damn and ass might be more common (or is that because I am getting older and immuned).

If someone knows you are a believer in Christ and they would be taken back by the words you say, that has to be the definition of obscene/offensive. I don't think we have the freedom to define this in our lives ourselves. Only the Holy Spirit of God and those who do not find their salvation in Christ have the right to define this because it is them we are living for, right? Living for the glory of God! Living so that a few might come to know Christ through our lives, our actions, our love for Christ!

I think when we realize who we are living for and actually begin living that way, then we will find true satisfaction in Christ. I am not making any sweeping promises that I will never drop another bomb but I will continue to seek God in this and pray that my life is a greater reflection of Him then it was yesterday.

Humanity Ultimately Good?

2008-03-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

now that i am 28 years old and back in college i am seeing a world that i am not use to. i am being shown how much i have been sheltered my whole life. i went to public school and all and even went to a state university at age 18...but it's not till now that i really see the differences in world views. for me it always been about Christ. everything is Christ. in that my understanding is that humans are born into sin and are ultimately NOT good. it didn't help that i was risen in a home with strong convictions...real strong at times and my butt can attest to that. then at 19 i started working in the church. i have been working in the church for the past 9 years so basically my whole life has been in a bubble.

now i am hearing about attaining perfection and humans are born as a blank slate...ultimately good. wow, now i understand some of the difficulty in understanding our tainted state. we are in need of a savior and thank God for Jesus that we don't have to attain perfection for he has already done for us. i mourn my fallen state with the humbleness and understanding that i will never be perfect until i see Jesus on the other side of glory.

A Child's Salvation

2008-03-07T06:33:00.000-08:00

I might be in over my head in this blog but it's something on my mind. I will try to map it out with the hopes of making sense (which a lot of times I don't).

Austen is a brilliant child. I take full credit for this. If you know Stacy and I then you will know exactly where I am coming from. I learned in Psychology classes that if two parents have high IQ's then it is likely they will have a child with a low IQ. Thank God I can provide a lower IQ than Stacy so our kids will be smart (the jury is still out with Landon, it seems he has more my genes than anything...poor kid).

Austen grasps on to the stories of Jesus so easily. When Stacy and I explain to him "the things of God" (in ways you would to a 4 year old) he internalizes it and then expresses it back to us at random times. The other day we were at the dinner table and Austen busts out of nowhere, "Jesus love everybody." Of course from my wife and I we shout out a big, "hallelujah," "here, here," and a "preach brother Austen." This is the beginning knowledge of salvation, right? By no means is it the end all or the basic knowledge of salvation but it is teaching that Jesus is real and that He cares about you. I am proud my son internalizes these thing.

This stage in my sons life is exciting but it's technically a conditioned response. Salvation begins in a person when they make the choice to give their lives to Christ. How many teenagers do we know that have given their lives to Jesus at an early age, because they grew up in church, but then as a young adult they fall away from the faith.

When I see a child baptized my mind races. I know it's not my place to judge anyone but it's hard as a dad to not put myself in their shoes. The day my kids decide to place their trust in Jesus will be an exciting day but how do I know it's not a conditioned response to Stacy and my faith. I don't want to let my kids be baptized in their faith if it's really my faith they lean on. The reality is, I am going to fail my kids in my faith because I am FAR from perfect.

How many stories do we know (stories just like mine) of individuals giving their lives to Jesus at an early age but not really following Jesus till their adult life (sometimes this is 18, sometimes it's not till 40).

Maybe this child's choice (conditioned or not) is not really a choice at all but the guiding hand of the Holy Spirit. My salvation experience at age 7 was a mile stone in my life though it wasn't till 18 that I really "gave my life" to Christ. What if this "choice" is the beginning work of a foundation that will complete itself at age 18. What if this has nothing to do with us at all but all about the work of God.

The parable Jesus gave in Luke 8 (also in Matthew 13) speaks of the seeds falling on the beaten path, falling amongst the rocks, falling with among the thorns and weeds, and falling on the good soil. Maybe the responsibility of us as parents is greater than the church as ever really expressed to us. With the understanding that God is the one who is responsible for making the seed grow, we have the responsibility to represent a godly lifestyle. So as your child grows God can use your life in Christ as a catapult for the maturity (the good soil) for your child's life in Christ. A lot of discipling and a lot of prayer can set our kids up for success in understanding the one true God.

God has chosen us and given us the responsibility to grow out kids in Him. Wow, what a responsibility that I take for granted often.

Super dad. A Tough Job.

2008-02-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

Being super dad is a tough job. It may come natural to some but to me...it takes work. Maybe it's just my kids but it seems lately they have been asking a load of questions that I don't know the answers to. For this season in my life I can make up a load of crap and get by with it but not for long. Austen was 4 in September and has more common sense then most 12 year olds. This little tactic of mine wont last for long.

Today for example, I was running and for the first time noticed those little concrete "ditches" that run across crosswalks...they look like the continued sidewalk but as an adult I know they are there to help channel the rain water. For some strange reason I thought to my self that I have no clue what those are called, colverts, concrete ditches, water thingies? What if Austen asks me what they are, how long will this "load of crap" stratagy work. Probably until he starts kindergarden and he uses the words that I teach him and he gets made fun of.

Dang, its hard being super dad and trying to know everything.

LUST

2008-01-09T19:51:00.001-08:00

“i will not boast about myself, except about my weakness...

...to keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a throne in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times i pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. but He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you , for my power is made perfect in weakness.” therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. that is why for Christ sake, i delight in weakness...

for when i am weak, then i am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:5-10

i am finding it difficult to battle the lust my eyes desire. times are definitely harder than others but it doesn’t matter how old i get or how madly in love with my wife i am...i am figuring out that this battle has very little to do with circumstances.

i always figured if something changed in my life then i would be miraculously healed. as a young kid seeking to pursue righteousness i fell short often, very short. i alway thought that as i got older then the struggles would be less. if that didn’t cure it then marriage would definitely cure it. well here i am, 6 years into one of the greatest marriages in the world with a smoke’n hot wife and the struggles is still there.

can i blame these struggles on an attack from Satan? well, don’t let me get cocky because i know Satan so many more righteous people than me to attack since he is not omnipresent. can i blame these struggles on “Satan’s little helpers?”

i don’t know if you fall into the same category with me or not but as a kid i was taught (i can’t really pinpoint where biblically) that each human was provided a guardian angel as well with a demonic angel. what?!?!

who’s to blame for our continual struggle? we alway need someone to blame don’t we? is it God? that cant be because James 1:13 makes it pretty clear that God cant be tempted nor tempt anyone. that’s not His nature. i’ll tell you who’s nature it is more like...you got it...Satan and his clan.

if the buck stops there then we are further from God then ever!

the apostle Paul has a unique take on this subject to me. he talks about guarding against spiritual warfare in Ephesians 6 but he also talks about his own sinful nature that he was plagued with from birth. Romans 7:14 begins his rant on his own sinful nature and it’s pretty humbling. James 1 that i mentioned earlier even talks about it in a unique way in a unique part of its text.

the reason i quoted 2 Corinthians 12 at the beginning because i think Paul brings it home for me regarding this subject.

Paul is a confident man who knows he has a lot to boast in because he has seen and done plenty to boast about. but he choses to boast in his weakness. God realizes his potential pride fall and the text reads, “to keep me from being conceited...there was given (Paul) a thorn in (his) flesh.”

He begged God to take it away but Gods response is perfect and humbling all at the same time, “my grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

i would be a fool to say that temptation comes from my God but its hard for me to believe that it’s not ordained by Him.

the blame for our struggles only lies in us. Jesus states that a part of righteousness is morning over our sin...knowing we are not perfect. not being guilt ridden but being sorrowful (Matthew 5).

God proclaims through the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that he will provide a way out in our sin that we can stand.

OUR CHOICE puts us in the place of unholiness.

we need to find a new level of joy, like Paul, joy in suffering. knowing that God is God and we are not. knowing that God grace is sufficient. knowing that we are born to struggle and thank God we do.

healing is not changing your behavior or circumstances...it has nothing to do with us
healing is falling in love with Christ today!

Temptation of Jesus

2008-01-07T10:12:00.000-08:00

Luke 4

why was Jesus fasting in the desert? what was He doing there?

my childhood response is Jesus is preparing Himself for His ministry. He was just baptized by John and He now has to get away before His ministry begins. good answer? sure...but a surface answer. this does not answer the "what is Jesus preparing himself for" question.

i was reading Barclay's commentary alongside Luke 4. he brought up a through provoking question. it's hard to know his statement as truth because the only way to know it as truth is to get it from the source itself. Barclay lived before my time but he is not as old as Jesus.

as i am processing what he said and comparing it to other things Jesus has said during his ministry, recorded in his gospels, it's beginning to make some sense to me. i may be look upon as a idiot because this may be well known to others but this is a first to me.

* Jesus retired to His lonely place and for forty days He wrestled with the problem of HOW he could win men.

my juvenile thought was Jesus was in the desert for Himself. to a degree He was but the overall purpose (was was His while ministry and life) he was in the desert for self sacrificing reasons. obviously this is why He was fasting...why is it too much a thought that He went to prove self control to His father (in fasting) and seeking His fathers direction on an extraordinary question..."how to win men for the glory of God."

NOW... my heart this changes Jesus' answers towards Jesus temptations. hell, this even changes the reason for Satan to temp Jesus.

this is not about Jesus overcoming Himself (as my original thought was and has been) for self serving reasons as much as it is Jesus overcoming how he wins the world.

Satan is telling Him how he should win this world over...which his way leads to pride. Jesus responds to Satan, in His answers, it's not about Me...it's about My Father.

A) Satan: "turn this stone into bread"
yeah, you bet Jesus is hungry because of His fast but check out Jesus' response out of Deut. 8:3, "man does not live on bread alone." still can be interpreted as trying to get Jesus to fall into sin...breaking His fast but the context of Deut. 8:3 is man will never find life in material things.
what if Satan is saying to Jesus, if you want people to follow You, use your wonderful powers to give them material things." bribing people to follow him.

B) Satan: "bow to me and i will give this all to You."
temptation of compromise. Satan says to strike a bargain with me and i will give you the people you desire to win over because they have been given to me. Jesus' response it there is not compromise in the war on evil (Deut. 6:13)

C) Satan: "from the highest point of the temple, throw yourself down from here...for it's written that God will command all the angles to protect you carefully."
sensationalism: a manner of being extremely controversial, loud, or attention-grabbing. this is Satan's temptation. Jesus says there is no need to make senseless experiemtns with the power of God (this is a trust thing).
there are times when God chooses to use His power through people to prove Himself but there is no need to prove God to Satan because he knows of God...this is a prideful trick. Jesus is aware of this and says, thanks but no thanks.

Satan is not trying to get Jesus to sin as (in one occasion) much as he is trying to set his ministry up for prideful failure...which in the end is sinful. Satan victory is not to get us to sin (one time) but to get us to fall into a lifestyle of sin that will ruin our life in Christ...to make us ineffective.

To me this makes sense when Jesus does preform miracles and afterwards he demands the individual to "not tell anyone of this" (though they always go off and blabber their mouths). Jesus knows it's not about Him but it's about His Father.

response to a wicked heart

2007-12-27T22:29:00.000-08:00

Luke 1

we see God responding to the wicked heart of Zachariah when Gabriel shows up and tells him he is going to have a son after his wife Elizabeth has been barren her whole life (and she is well along in years).

there are times when God responds to a wicked heart with wrath and punishment, with the ultimate purpose of His glory.

check out how Zachariah story ends...he celebrates his sons birth because of the promise God had made with him.

some strange way i can envision God in this situation. i desperately don't want to personify God in a way that is contradicting to scripture but my heart can see God's response in this situation. the problem with Zachariah is his wicked heart and God's main goal is to change his heart. God's discipline is to take his vocal cords away till John is born.

i imagine a patient God's when seeing wickedness, He maintains composure but administering discipline. God's ulimate goal is not to get His way but to eliminate the wickedness in the heart. His goal is to recognize what the wickedness is and punish accordingly to where wickedness is dealt with.

UHHH...Application?

as a father i punish because i do not get my way. i behave like a child but use my grown up voice. i yell, belittle, send to time out, and spank all out of being disrespected. my children disrespect me and their mom; so i look to correct it.

hows that working out Jordan?

well not that well.

i have two AMAZING boys, they struggle though (as any two and four year old do). their struggles in obedience and listening (or lack of) are in continuance day in and day out...over and over again. that's the definition of insane right? there are days that their mother and i go absolutely insane. we lose our cool and lose our temper. REASON? because it's about us (if we honestly seek the answer to that). i feel disrespected and so my kids get my reaction. a pride issue. a "you will obey me" thing.

an act of pride vs. an act of humility.

is this bad? no! there is nothing wrong with disciplining and desire respect from my boys but i MUST do a better job of recognizing the sinful, rebelious, wicked hearted nature and punish accordingly.

the glory of God is at stake here. i desperately desire my boys (and Noelle too when she reaches a age of discipline) to recognize the root of their evil desire and correct the problem where it makes an eternal difference in their life.

God, hear my heart and develop my behavior as a father as such...for your glory and not my own. build into my kids the capability and the heart to recognize where they fall short of your glory and change them daily. i pray the same for both Stacy and i. never let us to find complacency.

the love of YOU God is the most humbling force in the universe...not the wrath of God.

i MUST remember this when i deal with my kids day in and day out! may my wrath not be their force of change but our love and the love You offer them be their changing force!

an amazing wife

2007-12-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

i will never forget my Christmas' growing up as a kid and watching my dad get the least amount of presents and never envying that. i never wanted to be that guy who has no presents under the tree. it's amazing what growing up will do.

this year, Stacy and i expressed to each other and everyone else in our family that we do not want Christmas to be about us...make it about our kids. we celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary on the 22nd and made it clear we were going to make it all about us then. and we did. Nana took the kids for the night and Stacy and i took off for a great dinner and then went out to get tattoos together!

amazing wife act #1: tattoos together (not just allowing me to get one but her getting one with me)

the whole month of december we have been building into our boys the Christmas story...making sure they new the real "reason for the season." they got it. they could tell you the whole story thanks to Noel Pipers advent calendar.

we knew Christmas morning was going to be huge to them and it was. this is the first year that they got "Santa" and anticipated his coming. they saw the presents building up and knew they were for them. as much as we built into them the reason for the season, Christmas morning was coming and they knew it involved presents.

little to my knowledge, and against all for warning, Stacy went behind my back and got both of our families to buy into getting me a new computer for school. she worked hard hours of being sneaky and creative lying to keep me far away from any knowledge of it.

it's suppose to be all about the kids right...so i figured we were on the same page.

the final present of Christmas morning had my name on it. as i opened it, i saw for the first time my brand new macbook...just what i wanted but NEVER thought i would receive. the card on it read "we BELIEVE in you."

amazing wife act #2: surprise macbook

i have never felt so humbled in my life. my wife would do ANYthing for me and i am convinced of that. we are not at a place financially to afford anything like this but she made it happen.

GOD, You blessed me with an amazing partner and lover. she always goes the extra mile for me. sometime is shows up in HUGE ways like this and other it is huge in my heart...like when she looks into my eyes and tells me she loves me! i believe her! You have given me so much more than i deserve and NEVER let me take advantage of Your gift!

my purpose in blogging

2007-12-20T10:27:00.000-08:00

i am looking for a place to journal my thoughts and revelations. i have never been a blogger before but i am finding myself online all the time so i might as well use it to my advantage. realize as you read i am not deep or complex. this blog is created for an outlet for me so if you find yourself reading it know that i am not trying to be something special. this is simply me!