what would you do

i ran across this yesterday while reading a blog that i like to read. i was introduced to this song...maybe it's better described as a story.

what would you do...if you heard the words directed to you from your doctor: aggressive, terminal, cancer?

would you cry out to God? many of us would because it's natural when we are facing something bigger than us to turn to the One who is bigger than us.

what would be the focus of your conversation to Him? would it be me or would it be HIM?

you have to see these two video here.

candy cigarettes

i was reading a blog today from brody who was talking about candy that he remember as a kid?  

did you ever buy candy cigarettes? so amazing but so wrong!

check out this blog

check out this blog by Amos Lanka entitled "Aimlessness and Affluenza"...he brings up some great thought provoking points.

a wordle?

this morning i was introduced to a tool that many of you may already know about...but it's new to me.  i was reading Aaron Ivey's blog and found out that when you enter your RSS feed into this website, it makes a cloud of words that are most frequently used on your blog.  pretty sweet stuff!  

click on it to see it larger.  

shower time

nothing says "growing up" like taking a shower all by yourself.  no...not me, my four year old.  (it's funny how progression works in our heads.  one day we want to be all grown up and take showers alone...then we look forward to the times when we're not alone...hallelujah to marriage.)

he took his first shower all by himself and it was hilarious listening to him as i laid on my bed.  he had the removable shower head in his hand and giggling randomly.  

i can only imagine where he was hitting himself.

my little boy is growing up fast...where is this time going?

anger in brokenness

this was written yesterday...

my heart is broken today.  everything inside of me is begging for the tears to flow but anger is built up in this brokenness that has put me at a weird state.

about 5 days ago i was reading a blog posting from the Rescue Center in Haiti that i find myself checking in on frequently.  this particular story caught my attention from some reason.  this father of three was at a loss for what to do with his 6 month old daughter.  his wife died after delivering her and he could take care of her anymore.  he hiked 6 hours with her to reach the Rescue Center with a hope they could take her. 

i have been doing a lot of reading about what some, who have nothing, choose to do with their children in Haiti and found out that many families give their children away with the hope of them having food on the table, a roof over their head, and possibly an education (something you and i may never understand).  many times that does not happen but the risk is worth it for many poor families.  (nightline covered a story that sparked my interest...read these for some insight from Haitians here and here.)  this father gave his daughter to the Rescue Center in search for hope.  

she was not healthy when she came in, as many Haitian children aren't (1/5 of the children don't live past age 5), and i read today that she passed away...suffering from 108.3 temperature and seizures.  

as amazingly rough as that is...there is no way for them to let the father know of her passing.  he will come next week to visit her and find out the news.  

my heart breaks for Lori and Licia who sacrifice for and serve Haiti with all their heart...who have greater faith then you and i will ever experience in our "safe" lives and "safe" churches here in the states.  my heart breaks for these ladies who gave so much but lost this earthly battle for her life (though God is in total control).  my heart breaks for the suffering that Chabina had to go through.  i chest has had that lump in it all day...the lump that feels like i am holding emotions back...but i can't let it out.

my heart is angry because as i lay my head on my pillow tonight there is a dad who lays his head down after a hard day at work with the hope of seeing his daughter next week but the reality is after he travels 6 hours by foot...he will find out that the LORD took his baby girl home.  as a dad (not from a godly perspective) this seems very unfair.  i am broken for the day he learns the very thing that i know... but i am hundreds, if not, thousands of miles away.  

i wish i had to the means to hike to his house to share to him the bad news.  as a dad i want him to know!

taken from the Rescue Center blog...i lean on it too:

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

     neither are your ways My ways,'

     declares the LORD.

9 'As the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are My ways higher than your ways

    and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

tangible vs. the unseen

it's funny how money (or lack of) will change your faith.

we sold our house here in Albuquerque and in this market that is a big deal. we even got the asking price. the only thing is we did a Real Estate Contract (REC) with the buyers which means that the responsibility of this mortgage is not totally off our shoulders until June of next year. it works like a lease to own but the house in the the buys name and we (the sellers) act as the bank. then in one year the buyers will refinance and everything will go in their name and our mortgage will be paid off... the problem now lies in the fact that this bank doesn't have a lot of money.

July 1st was the first payment due from our current "renters". Today's the 11th and, per online, the money hasn't been paid to our escrow company. With the weekend approaching and the 16th fast on it's heals (the day our mortgage is due) it looked like our mortgage wasn't going to be paid on time. WE HAVE NEVER PAID A LATE MORTGAGE!

needless to say, the Young's household has been a stressful household the past couple of days.

i had a great opportunity to be the rock for my wife and i failed. God has done so much to this point to assure us that we are suppose to move to Portland in September but i was afraid of being wrong. what if we misread God and He is trying to get us to stay here. what if...what if...what if...

my wife went to be this morning (after working her 12 hr. night shift) a wreck and stressed out with the idea that we might have been screwed on this REC deal. i chose to lean on the tangible rather then on the unseen.

the only thing that has been constant my whole life is the directions that God has taken me. my family is in the midst of God taken us somewhere and i let worry blind my sight of what God is doing, and most importantly, what He has already done. i had an opportunity to share encouraging words to my wife and pray with her before she went to sleep to help set her mind at ease that God is in control...instead i left our room (her) frustrated at her frustration and at the whole situation.

to end a long story, i will spare the details but the detail you need to know is...God is still proven to be my constant. there was a mistake in the billing and the "renters" weren't properly notified.

my heart was unsettled, worried, nervous, and frustrated...but God was in control the whole time. i missed an opportunity to be my wifes rock and that saddens me. forgive me God for my lack of faith and family leadership.

Matthew 6:25-34, Prov. 3:5-6