Total Depravity

It's been a while since I have written a blog. A lot has happened and God has worked a ton in me since. I have leaned more on writing in my journal then writing on this blog but nonetheless God is being glorified in me. I guess it all started with a sermon I heard a few weeks back at City on a Hill here in Albuquerque. It was one of the greatest teachings on why we should worship. Check out the link below if you want to hear it or read it's contents. This is the background of where I am coming from today. It started from the truth taught in this sermon.

http://cityonahillabq.org/teachings/sunday-gathering/our-great-high-priest.

I have just completed a Living World Religions class taught by a teachers that is not a follower of Jesus Christ. The interesting part was when she got to the part of the semester when she taught Christianity. Augustine was an early church father that wrote about his depravity as a human, as a believer in Jesus Christ. This was stated in his book "Confessions." He was accused of focusing more of his writings on the his depravity with the reality being that he wasn't really that depraved. He had a good life. He was accused of trying to further an agenda rather than stating his true life.

OK, I can take this accusation from a worldly perspective but being a disciple of Jesus Christ I know where he is coming from and it is not agenda supported.

One view I see of life, from the perspective of Christ, is best stated by a band that I truly enjoy "Ever Stays Red" in their song "Blue." They state, "To spend one day with You is a thousand time better than I never knew life could be. Cause when I'm with you, All I see is good in me." I will never question their lyrics because with Christ we are able to look at our depraved state and see Christ...which is good in me. The problem is when we encounter people like Joel Olsteen and his followers who take this view and twist it into their unbiblical view of prosperity. That's what gets under my skin. This brings me to a second view, from my perspective when my eyes look upon the holiness of Jesus Christ I am able to see every sin I struggle with (no matter the level of "evilness" it may be). This means when I see Christ I can't help but fall to my knees in shame because I am not able to stand in His presence. No matter how hard I try, I can not stand. When I sing praise songs and worship this is what transforms my life, the unability to stand before a holy God but the His grace allows me to breaks my very core.

This is because when we worship God with the sacrifice of our lives we are worshiping the Great High Priest that the book of Hebrew in Scripture sets up (oh how I love how the Bible sets this truth up from the very beginning). We are able to stand in the holy of holies, in the presence of God, because we have a Great High Priest. Our worship is focused on Christ and Christ alone.

I get depravity. This is something that is renown in my heart. I can and never will be able to see good in me and I pray that is what is resounded through the course of my life.

I came to the realization last night as I was laying in bed that many times I choose right from wrong because I don't want to put myself in a position where Satan could have a foothold in my life...a foothold to lie to me about who I am...as Ephesians states. I chose right out of fear. I realized that I tend to choose right to benefit me or to keep me out of trouble.

Right choices needs to be an overflow of our worship...an overflow of I can't because I will never be good enough...an overflow of our lives lived for a Great High Priest that has been tempted in every way that we have, but yet is still sinless...an overflow of our reality of being able to stand in the holy of holies every time we come before God is prayer because of the saving grace of Christ Jesus.

I don't want to chose right anymore, Christ has chosen me so therefore right is what should comes out of me!

That's freedom from the bondage of sin and death that is offered through salvation. Though I continue to fall I pray I will never lose sight of my depravity for it reminds me of the saving work Jesus Christ has preformed in me.