Being super dad is a tough job. It may come natural to some but to me...it takes work. Maybe it's just my kids but it seems lately they have been asking a load of questions that I don't know the answers to. For this season in my life I can make up a load of crap and get by with it but not for long. Austen was 4 in September and has more common sense then most 12 year olds. This little tactic of mine wont last for long.
Today for example, I was running and for the first time noticed those little concrete "ditches" that run across crosswalks...they look like the continued sidewalk but as an adult I know they are there to help channel the rain water. For some strange reason I thought to my self that I have no clue what those are called, colverts, concrete ditches, water thingies? What if Austen asks me what they are, how long will this "load of crap" stratagy work. Probably until he starts kindergarden and he uses the words that I teach him and he gets made fun of.
Dang, its hard being super dad and trying to know everything.
2.10.2008
1.09.2008
LUST
“i will not boast about myself, except about my weakness...
...to keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a throne in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times i pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. but He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you , for my power is made perfect in weakness.” therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. that is why for Christ sake, i delight in weakness...
for when i am weak, then i am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:5-10
i am finding it difficult to battle the lust my eyes desire. times are definitely harder than others but it doesn’t matter how old i get or how madly in love with my wife i am...i am figuring out that this battle has very little to do with circumstances.
i always figured if something changed in my life then i would be miraculously healed. as a young kid seeking to pursue righteousness i fell short often, very short. i alway thought that as i got older then the struggles would be less. if that didn’t cure it then marriage would definitely cure it. well here i am, 6 years into one of the greatest marriages in the world with a smoke’n hot wife and the struggles is still there.
can i blame these struggles on an attack from Satan? well, don’t let me get cocky because i know Satan so many more righteous people than me to attack since he is not omnipresent. can i blame these struggles on “Satan’s little helpers?”
i don’t know if you fall into the same category with me or not but as a kid i was taught (i can’t really pinpoint where biblically) that each human was provided a guardian angel as well with a demonic angel. what?!?!
who’s to blame for our continual struggle? we alway need someone to blame don’t we? is it God? that cant be because James 1:13 makes it pretty clear that God cant be tempted nor tempt anyone. that’s not His nature. i’ll tell you who’s nature it is more like...you got it...Satan and his clan.
if the buck stops there then we are further from God then ever!
the apostle Paul has a unique take on this subject to me. he talks about guarding against spiritual warfare in Ephesians 6 but he also talks about his own sinful nature that he was plagued with from birth. Romans 7:14 begins his rant on his own sinful nature and it’s pretty humbling. James 1 that i mentioned earlier even talks about it in a unique way in a unique part of its text.
the reason i quoted 2 Corinthians 12 at the beginning because i think Paul brings it home for me regarding this subject.
Paul is a confident man who knows he has a lot to boast in because he has seen and done plenty to boast about. but he choses to boast in his weakness. God realizes his potential pride fall and the text reads, “to keep me from being conceited...there was given (Paul) a thorn in (his) flesh.”
He begged God to take it away but Gods response is perfect and humbling all at the same time, “my grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
i would be a fool to say that temptation comes from my God but its hard for me to believe that it’s not ordained by Him.
the blame for our struggles only lies in us. Jesus states that a part of righteousness is morning over our sin...knowing we are not perfect. not being guilt ridden but being sorrowful (Matthew 5).
God proclaims through the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that he will provide a way out in our sin that we can stand.
OUR CHOICE puts us in the place of unholiness.
we need to find a new level of joy, like Paul, joy in suffering. knowing that God is God and we are not. knowing that God grace is sufficient. knowing that we are born to struggle and thank God we do.
healing is not changing your behavior or circumstances...it has nothing to do with us
healing is falling in love with Christ today!
...to keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a throne in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times i pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. but He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you , for my power is made perfect in weakness.” therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. that is why for Christ sake, i delight in weakness...
for when i am weak, then i am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:5-10
i am finding it difficult to battle the lust my eyes desire. times are definitely harder than others but it doesn’t matter how old i get or how madly in love with my wife i am...i am figuring out that this battle has very little to do with circumstances.
i always figured if something changed in my life then i would be miraculously healed. as a young kid seeking to pursue righteousness i fell short often, very short. i alway thought that as i got older then the struggles would be less. if that didn’t cure it then marriage would definitely cure it. well here i am, 6 years into one of the greatest marriages in the world with a smoke’n hot wife and the struggles is still there.
can i blame these struggles on an attack from Satan? well, don’t let me get cocky because i know Satan so many more righteous people than me to attack since he is not omnipresent. can i blame these struggles on “Satan’s little helpers?”
i don’t know if you fall into the same category with me or not but as a kid i was taught (i can’t really pinpoint where biblically) that each human was provided a guardian angel as well with a demonic angel. what?!?!
who’s to blame for our continual struggle? we alway need someone to blame don’t we? is it God? that cant be because James 1:13 makes it pretty clear that God cant be tempted nor tempt anyone. that’s not His nature. i’ll tell you who’s nature it is more like...you got it...Satan and his clan.
if the buck stops there then we are further from God then ever!
the apostle Paul has a unique take on this subject to me. he talks about guarding against spiritual warfare in Ephesians 6 but he also talks about his own sinful nature that he was plagued with from birth. Romans 7:14 begins his rant on his own sinful nature and it’s pretty humbling. James 1 that i mentioned earlier even talks about it in a unique way in a unique part of its text.
the reason i quoted 2 Corinthians 12 at the beginning because i think Paul brings it home for me regarding this subject.
Paul is a confident man who knows he has a lot to boast in because he has seen and done plenty to boast about. but he choses to boast in his weakness. God realizes his potential pride fall and the text reads, “to keep me from being conceited...there was given (Paul) a thorn in (his) flesh.”
He begged God to take it away but Gods response is perfect and humbling all at the same time, “my grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
i would be a fool to say that temptation comes from my God but its hard for me to believe that it’s not ordained by Him.
the blame for our struggles only lies in us. Jesus states that a part of righteousness is morning over our sin...knowing we are not perfect. not being guilt ridden but being sorrowful (Matthew 5).
God proclaims through the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that he will provide a way out in our sin that we can stand.
OUR CHOICE puts us in the place of unholiness.
we need to find a new level of joy, like Paul, joy in suffering. knowing that God is God and we are not. knowing that God grace is sufficient. knowing that we are born to struggle and thank God we do.
healing is not changing your behavior or circumstances...it has nothing to do with us
healing is falling in love with Christ today!
1.07.2008
Temptation of Jesus
Luke 4
why was Jesus fasting in the desert? what was He doing there?
my childhood response is Jesus is preparing Himself for His ministry. He was just baptized by John and He now has to get away before His ministry begins. good answer? sure...but a surface answer. this does not answer the "what is Jesus preparing himself for" question.
i was reading Barclay's commentary alongside Luke 4. he brought up a through provoking question. it's hard to know his statement as truth because the only way to know it as truth is to get it from the source itself. Barclay lived before my time but he is not as old as Jesus.
as i am processing what he said and comparing it to other things Jesus has said during his ministry, recorded in his gospels, it's beginning to make some sense to me. i may be look upon as a idiot because this may be well known to others but this is a first to me.
* Jesus retired to His lonely place and for forty days He wrestled with the problem of HOW he could win men.
my juvenile thought was Jesus was in the desert for Himself. to a degree He was but the overall purpose (was was His while ministry and life) he was in the desert for self sacrificing reasons. obviously this is why He was fasting...why is it too much a thought that He went to prove self control to His father (in fasting) and seeking His fathers direction on an extraordinary question..."how to win men for the glory of God."
NOW... my heart this changes Jesus' answers towards Jesus temptations. hell, this even changes the reason for Satan to temp Jesus.
this is not about Jesus overcoming Himself (as my original thought was and has been) for self serving reasons as much as it is Jesus overcoming how he wins the world.
Satan is telling Him how he should win this world over...which his way leads to pride. Jesus responds to Satan, in His answers, it's not about Me...it's about My Father.
A) Satan: "turn this stone into bread"
yeah, you bet Jesus is hungry because of His fast but check out Jesus' response out of Deut. 8:3, "man does not live on bread alone." still can be interpreted as trying to get Jesus to fall into sin...breaking His fast but the context of Deut. 8:3 is man will never find life in material things.
what if Satan is saying to Jesus, if you want people to follow You, use your wonderful powers to give them material things." bribing people to follow him.
B) Satan: "bow to me and i will give this all to You."
temptation of compromise. Satan says to strike a bargain with me and i will give you the people you desire to win over because they have been given to me. Jesus' response it there is not compromise in the war on evil (Deut. 6:13)
C) Satan: "from the highest point of the temple, throw yourself down from here...for it's written that God will command all the angles to protect you carefully."
sensationalism: a manner of being extremely controversial, loud, or attention-grabbing. this is Satan's temptation. Jesus says there is no need to make senseless experiemtns with the power of God (this is a trust thing).
there are times when God chooses to use His power through people to prove Himself but there is no need to prove God to Satan because he knows of God...this is a prideful trick. Jesus is aware of this and says, thanks but no thanks.
Satan is not trying to get Jesus to sin as (in one occasion) much as he is trying to set his ministry up for prideful failure...which in the end is sinful. Satan victory is not to get us to sin (one time) but to get us to fall into a lifestyle of sin that will ruin our life in Christ...to make us ineffective.
To me this makes sense when Jesus does preform miracles and afterwards he demands the individual to "not tell anyone of this" (though they always go off and blabber their mouths). Jesus knows it's not about Him but it's about His Father.
why was Jesus fasting in the desert? what was He doing there?
my childhood response is Jesus is preparing Himself for His ministry. He was just baptized by John and He now has to get away before His ministry begins. good answer? sure...but a surface answer. this does not answer the "what is Jesus preparing himself for" question.
i was reading Barclay's commentary alongside Luke 4. he brought up a through provoking question. it's hard to know his statement as truth because the only way to know it as truth is to get it from the source itself. Barclay lived before my time but he is not as old as Jesus.
as i am processing what he said and comparing it to other things Jesus has said during his ministry, recorded in his gospels, it's beginning to make some sense to me. i may be look upon as a idiot because this may be well known to others but this is a first to me.
* Jesus retired to His lonely place and for forty days He wrestled with the problem of HOW he could win men.
my juvenile thought was Jesus was in the desert for Himself. to a degree He was but the overall purpose (was was His while ministry and life) he was in the desert for self sacrificing reasons. obviously this is why He was fasting...why is it too much a thought that He went to prove self control to His father (in fasting) and seeking His fathers direction on an extraordinary question..."how to win men for the glory of God."
NOW... my heart this changes Jesus' answers towards Jesus temptations. hell, this even changes the reason for Satan to temp Jesus.
this is not about Jesus overcoming Himself (as my original thought was and has been) for self serving reasons as much as it is Jesus overcoming how he wins the world.
Satan is telling Him how he should win this world over...which his way leads to pride. Jesus responds to Satan, in His answers, it's not about Me...it's about My Father.
A) Satan: "turn this stone into bread"
yeah, you bet Jesus is hungry because of His fast but check out Jesus' response out of Deut. 8:3, "man does not live on bread alone." still can be interpreted as trying to get Jesus to fall into sin...breaking His fast but the context of Deut. 8:3 is man will never find life in material things.
what if Satan is saying to Jesus, if you want people to follow You, use your wonderful powers to give them material things." bribing people to follow him.
B) Satan: "bow to me and i will give this all to You."
temptation of compromise. Satan says to strike a bargain with me and i will give you the people you desire to win over because they have been given to me. Jesus' response it there is not compromise in the war on evil (Deut. 6:13)
C) Satan: "from the highest point of the temple, throw yourself down from here...for it's written that God will command all the angles to protect you carefully."
sensationalism: a manner of being extremely controversial, loud, or attention-grabbing. this is Satan's temptation. Jesus says there is no need to make senseless experiemtns with the power of God (this is a trust thing).
there are times when God chooses to use His power through people to prove Himself but there is no need to prove God to Satan because he knows of God...this is a prideful trick. Jesus is aware of this and says, thanks but no thanks.
Satan is not trying to get Jesus to sin as (in one occasion) much as he is trying to set his ministry up for prideful failure...which in the end is sinful. Satan victory is not to get us to sin (one time) but to get us to fall into a lifestyle of sin that will ruin our life in Christ...to make us ineffective.
To me this makes sense when Jesus does preform miracles and afterwards he demands the individual to "not tell anyone of this" (though they always go off and blabber their mouths). Jesus knows it's not about Him but it's about His Father.
12.27.2007
response to a wicked heart
Luke 1
we see God responding to the wicked heart of Zachariah when Gabriel shows up and tells him he is going to have a son after his wife Elizabeth has been barren her whole life (and she is well along in years).
there are times when God responds to a wicked heart with wrath and punishment, with the ultimate purpose of His glory.
check out how Zachariah story ends...he celebrates his sons birth because of the promise God had made with him.
some strange way i can envision God in this situation. i desperately don't want to personify God in a way that is contradicting to scripture but my heart can see God's response in this situation. the problem with Zachariah is his wicked heart and God's main goal is to change his heart. God's discipline is to take his vocal cords away till John is born.
i imagine a patient God's when seeing wickedness, He maintains composure but administering discipline. God's ulimate goal is not to get His way but to eliminate the wickedness in the heart. His goal is to recognize what the wickedness is and punish accordingly to where wickedness is dealt with.
UHHH...Application?
as a father i punish because i do not get my way. i behave like a child but use my grown up voice. i yell, belittle, send to time out, and spank all out of being disrespected. my children disrespect me and their mom; so i look to correct it.
hows that working out Jordan?
well not that well.
i have two AMAZING boys, they struggle though (as any two and four year old do). their struggles in obedience and listening (or lack of) are in continuance day in and day out...over and over again. that's the definition of insane right? there are days that their mother and i go absolutely insane. we lose our cool and lose our temper. REASON? because it's about us (if we honestly seek the answer to that). i feel disrespected and so my kids get my reaction. a pride issue. a "you will obey me" thing.
an act of pride vs. an act of humility.
is this bad? no! there is nothing wrong with disciplining and desire respect from my boys but i MUST do a better job of recognizing the sinful, rebelious, wicked hearted nature and punish accordingly.
the glory of God is at stake here. i desperately desire my boys (and Noelle too when she reaches a age of discipline) to recognize the root of their evil desire and correct the problem where it makes an eternal difference in their life.
God, hear my heart and develop my behavior as a father as such...for your glory and not my own. build into my kids the capability and the heart to recognize where they fall short of your glory and change them daily. i pray the same for both Stacy and i. never let us to find complacency.
the love of YOU God is the most humbling force in the universe...not the wrath of God.
i MUST remember this when i deal with my kids day in and day out! may my wrath not be their force of change but our love and the love You offer them be their changing force!
we see God responding to the wicked heart of Zachariah when Gabriel shows up and tells him he is going to have a son after his wife Elizabeth has been barren her whole life (and she is well along in years).
there are times when God responds to a wicked heart with wrath and punishment, with the ultimate purpose of His glory.
check out how Zachariah story ends...he celebrates his sons birth because of the promise God had made with him.
some strange way i can envision God in this situation. i desperately don't want to personify God in a way that is contradicting to scripture but my heart can see God's response in this situation. the problem with Zachariah is his wicked heart and God's main goal is to change his heart. God's discipline is to take his vocal cords away till John is born.
i imagine a patient God's when seeing wickedness, He maintains composure but administering discipline. God's ulimate goal is not to get His way but to eliminate the wickedness in the heart. His goal is to recognize what the wickedness is and punish accordingly to where wickedness is dealt with.
UHHH...Application?
as a father i punish because i do not get my way. i behave like a child but use my grown up voice. i yell, belittle, send to time out, and spank all out of being disrespected. my children disrespect me and their mom; so i look to correct it.
hows that working out Jordan?
well not that well.
i have two AMAZING boys, they struggle though (as any two and four year old do). their struggles in obedience and listening (or lack of) are in continuance day in and day out...over and over again. that's the definition of insane right? there are days that their mother and i go absolutely insane. we lose our cool and lose our temper. REASON? because it's about us (if we honestly seek the answer to that). i feel disrespected and so my kids get my reaction. a pride issue. a "you will obey me" thing.
an act of pride vs. an act of humility.
is this bad? no! there is nothing wrong with disciplining and desire respect from my boys but i MUST do a better job of recognizing the sinful, rebelious, wicked hearted nature and punish accordingly.
the glory of God is at stake here. i desperately desire my boys (and Noelle too when she reaches a age of discipline) to recognize the root of their evil desire and correct the problem where it makes an eternal difference in their life.
God, hear my heart and develop my behavior as a father as such...for your glory and not my own. build into my kids the capability and the heart to recognize where they fall short of your glory and change them daily. i pray the same for both Stacy and i. never let us to find complacency.
the love of YOU God is the most humbling force in the universe...not the wrath of God.
i MUST remember this when i deal with my kids day in and day out! may my wrath not be their force of change but our love and the love You offer them be their changing force!
12.26.2007
an amazing wife
i will never forget my Christmas' growing up as a kid and watching my dad get the least amount of presents and never envying that. i never wanted to be that guy who has no presents under the tree. it's amazing what growing up will do.
this year, Stacy and i expressed to each other and everyone else in our family that we do not want Christmas to be about us...make it about our kids. we celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary on the 22nd and made it clear we were going to make it all about us then. and we did. Nana took the kids for the night and Stacy and i took off for a great dinner and then went out to get tattoos together!
amazing wife act #1: tattoos together (not just allowing me to get one but her getting one with me)
the whole month of december we have been building into our boys the Christmas story...making sure they new the real "reason for the season." they got it. they could tell you the whole story thanks to Noel Pipers advent calendar.
we knew Christmas morning was going to be huge to them and it was. this is the first year that they got "Santa" and anticipated his coming. they saw the presents building up and knew they were for them. as much as we built into them the reason for the season, Christmas morning was coming and they knew it involved presents.
little to my knowledge, and against all for warning, Stacy went behind my back and got both of our families to buy into getting me a new computer for school. she worked hard hours of being sneaky and creative lying to keep me far away from any knowledge of it.
it's suppose to be all about the kids right...so i figured we were on the same page.
the final present of Christmas morning had my name on it. as i opened it, i saw for the first time my brand new macbook...just what i wanted but NEVER thought i would receive. the card on it read "we BELIEVE in you."
amazing wife act #2: surprise macbook
i have never felt so humbled in my life. my wife would do ANYthing for me and i am convinced of that. we are not at a place financially to afford anything like this but she made it happen.
GOD, You blessed me with an amazing partner and lover. she always goes the extra mile for me. sometime is shows up in HUGE ways like this and other it is huge in my heart...like when she looks into my eyes and tells me she loves me! i believe her! You have given me so much more than i deserve and NEVER let me take advantage of Your gift!
this year, Stacy and i expressed to each other and everyone else in our family that we do not want Christmas to be about us...make it about our kids. we celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary on the 22nd and made it clear we were going to make it all about us then. and we did. Nana took the kids for the night and Stacy and i took off for a great dinner and then went out to get tattoos together!
amazing wife act #1: tattoos together (not just allowing me to get one but her getting one with me)
the whole month of december we have been building into our boys the Christmas story...making sure they new the real "reason for the season." they got it. they could tell you the whole story thanks to Noel Pipers advent calendar.
we knew Christmas morning was going to be huge to them and it was. this is the first year that they got "Santa" and anticipated his coming. they saw the presents building up and knew they were for them. as much as we built into them the reason for the season, Christmas morning was coming and they knew it involved presents.
little to my knowledge, and against all for warning, Stacy went behind my back and got both of our families to buy into getting me a new computer for school. she worked hard hours of being sneaky and creative lying to keep me far away from any knowledge of it.
it's suppose to be all about the kids right...so i figured we were on the same page.
the final present of Christmas morning had my name on it. as i opened it, i saw for the first time my brand new macbook...just what i wanted but NEVER thought i would receive. the card on it read "we BELIEVE in you."
amazing wife act #2: surprise macbook
i have never felt so humbled in my life. my wife would do ANYthing for me and i am convinced of that. we are not at a place financially to afford anything like this but she made it happen.
GOD, You blessed me with an amazing partner and lover. she always goes the extra mile for me. sometime is shows up in HUGE ways like this and other it is huge in my heart...like when she looks into my eyes and tells me she loves me! i believe her! You have given me so much more than i deserve and NEVER let me take advantage of Your gift!
12.20.2007
my purpose in blogging
i am looking for a place to journal my thoughts and revelations. i have never been a blogger before but i am finding myself online all the time so i might as well use it to my advantage. realize as you read i am not deep or complex. this blog is created for an outlet for me so if you find yourself reading it know that i am not trying to be something special. this is simply me!
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