all of me

i went on an early bike ride with my best friend and on my way home i was listening to my ipod, the band "The Longing." they are a band i find myself listening to a lot lately. you could categorize this album as worship.

this morning i was that idiot you pass on the road that you see screaming his music without a care in the world...even other drivers. i was worshiping God. it was great. maybe you have been at this place before, i found myself in that "holy giggle" stage as i was singing and i belted out the name of Jesus in the appropriate instrumental of the chorus. i could help it. it was awesome.

then it hit me. i've been at this place before. worshiping at one of the many passion conferences i've been to or other times when i totally feel the Spirit of God moving when i am "worshiping"...you know what i mean...right...when all you can see is Jesus and nothing else matters?

it's funny to me, and i think i can see this today because all i am going through spiritually (learning depravity...worthlessness...selflessness...and yet still being able to stand in Gods presence), that we can belt out the name of Jesus at the appropriate time but still miss all of who He is. i mean we can be in love the idea of Jesus but never get the transforming power of Jesus.

i can we belt out the name of Jesus in a praise/worship setting and leave that setting unchanged. how can we leave that experience with the satisfaction of that experience...you know...in love with the emotional connection and still so self focused that we find ourselves struggling to find our way back to "that place" where we able to freely belt out His name. is the american dream crippling us? is the status quo crippling us? screw it all! transform me Jesus and take away all my blessings if it's for Your glory.

i think i am starting to get Isaiah response..."here i am, send me...(no matter the cost...no matter what i am sacrificing...take me...ALL OF ME).

i am still processing through all this...far from perfect apart from Christ!