how far is too far?

i was mowing our grass today and ran into a issue.

if you know anything about albuquerque, new mexico, much like most of new mexico, there is absolutely no grass anywhere unless you plant it. at our previous house i planted grass in the back yard because i couldn't fathom our kids playing in dirt or landscaped rock. it wasn't huge by any means and to share to you how un-huge it really was, i didn't even own a lawn mower...did all the cutting with our weed-eater.

at our new house (our temp. house in albuquerque) they have a lot more grass then we did. they were gracious and left their lawn mower.

today was the second time i cut the grass and when i started it up, my oldest, Austen, sprinted for the hills, screaming like a school girl, because "it was too loud." come on, the little dude is 4 1/2 years old. suck it up bud.

i have taken plenty of sociology classes to know what a sociologist would tell me but i am not raising my son to be PC or to have a well balanced psyche. i have the responsibility to raise him under the authority of Christ. in my mind that also means teaching him to be brave and to have courage...to do things even when you don't want to...to trust me in that i will protect him at all costs.

he would have nothing to do with it. i pulled all the stops (even a small threat) to get him to mow the grass with me and he just stood there crying...trying to pull away from me. i got so frustrated. i despreately want him to be brave and trust me but he had nothing to do with it. i hope i didn't cross any lines with him. i was sure to let him know that i love him and that he makes me proud in spite of being scared of the mower. i am not disappointed because he's not what i want him to be but i get disappointed because i know what he CAN be in Christ and i want to instill these qualities in him early...when he still impressionable. i DON'T want him to grow up thinking he's a failure in my eyes because i could not be more proud of both my boys!