tangible vs. the unseen

it's funny how money (or lack of) will change your faith.

we sold our house here in Albuquerque and in this market that is a big deal. we even got the asking price. the only thing is we did a Real Estate Contract (REC) with the buyers which means that the responsibility of this mortgage is not totally off our shoulders until June of next year. it works like a lease to own but the house in the the buys name and we (the sellers) act as the bank. then in one year the buyers will refinance and everything will go in their name and our mortgage will be paid off... the problem now lies in the fact that this bank doesn't have a lot of money.

July 1st was the first payment due from our current "renters". Today's the 11th and, per online, the money hasn't been paid to our escrow company. With the weekend approaching and the 16th fast on it's heals (the day our mortgage is due) it looked like our mortgage wasn't going to be paid on time. WE HAVE NEVER PAID A LATE MORTGAGE!

needless to say, the Young's household has been a stressful household the past couple of days.

i had a great opportunity to be the rock for my wife and i failed. God has done so much to this point to assure us that we are suppose to move to Portland in September but i was afraid of being wrong. what if we misread God and He is trying to get us to stay here. what if...what if...what if...

my wife went to be this morning (after working her 12 hr. night shift) a wreck and stressed out with the idea that we might have been screwed on this REC deal. i chose to lean on the tangible rather then on the unseen.

the only thing that has been constant my whole life is the directions that God has taken me. my family is in the midst of God taken us somewhere and i let worry blind my sight of what God is doing, and most importantly, what He has already done. i had an opportunity to share encouraging words to my wife and pray with her before she went to sleep to help set her mind at ease that God is in control...instead i left our room (her) frustrated at her frustration and at the whole situation.

to end a long story, i will spare the details but the detail you need to know is...God is still proven to be my constant. there was a mistake in the billing and the "renters" weren't properly notified.

my heart was unsettled, worried, nervous, and frustrated...but God was in control the whole time. i missed an opportunity to be my wifes rock and that saddens me. forgive me God for my lack of faith and family leadership.

Matthew 6:25-34, Prov. 3:5-6